Not Our Sammy
by Luna Knyte
Summary: Past Sam/HarrySLASH.Dean never really knew what happened behind the closed doors of his brothers relationship.But he didnt really want to know he supposed.But after finding Harry after he disappears he can't ignore it especially with Harry almost dying.
1. Not Our Sammy

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Romance and Angst

**Rating**: M (for swearing, mention of abuse, over using of alcohol and drugs, and violence)

**Pairings**: past-established Sam/Harry- Harry and Dean friendship.

**Summary**: Dean never really knew what happened behind the closed doors of his brothers and best friends relationship. He knew deep down that it wasn't the paradise it had been in the beginning when they were both shy and lovey-dovey. But he didn't really want to know he supposed. He wanted to believe that everything would be alright and that he'd have both family and friends. So he let everything slide. Even after coming back from hell. But after finding Harry again after him disappearing Dean can no longer ignore anything, and neither could Sam, he'd make sure of that.

**Inspiration**: Toxic Fools' "The Little Things" and "Never You"

A/N: Really it was just some thing that entered my head after reading some really angst stories and whatnot. Hope you like.

* * *

><p>The Impala's roaring engined died down as Dean pulled into one of the many motels that they're used to dwelling in for the night. Dean looked over Sam who had been silent the whole ride back from the woods.<p>

It was the night of a full moon and they had just hunted down a werewolf. Even with the most experience hunters, something that has been done before, no matter how many times, never loses its dangers. Yes, they were used to the cold, the dark, and the paranoia. They knew what to expect and were as ready as a hunter could be. And to their Winchester credit it was all mostly simple. Shoot it down with silver, decapitate, and salt and burn it afterward for good measure. Watch out for the claws, but most importantly, never get bit.

In fear of the last threat Dean needed to push Sam out of the way before the big bad wolf took a bite out of him. Of course being that they had been on higher ground their descent wasn't so graceful. Tackling Sam out of the way, plus slamming into a tree to stop rolling down hill was not the highlight of Dean's night. Only good thing(for him anyway)was that Sammy was there to break his fall.

Once they were back on their feet, anger and pain now fueling them, the rest of the night was done in the most hunter professional ways and the werewolf was dead.

Dean and Sam got out of the car and headed to their room. Dean groaned as he removed his guns and jacket and pants. He was sure he'd have some bruises by morning. He heard the door to the bathroom close and he muttered, "Geeze, can't even let a guy call dibs anymore..."

Dean knew that Sam was depressed, hell! he was too. In another two months give or take, it'll be about half a year since Harry had left. It was a huge blow to both of them...hell it was a big blow to Bobby, Ben and Lisa too!

Harry had gotten to know all of them and had made their way into all of their hearts.

They had first met Harry a short while after the incident with Jessica, Sammy's deceased fiance, and a little before reuniting with their father. Harry had been in trouble with some demons. They wanted to recruit him but he wasn't going to join forces with the light of them. So Harry, like them, was a nomad. It was shortly after a somewhat nasty battle between them and the YED who had decided to pay them an unexpected visit that they learned what was so special about Harry.

He was _born_ with magic!

They were all skeptical at first, had wanted to hunt him down even, but then the YED had claimed that he wanted Harry because his magic was pure, and a helluva lot more powerful. Harry James Potter was a natural born wizard. He hadn't made any deals with any demon, didn't need to sacrifice babies, or kill anyone to get what he wanted done. He just spoke in Latin, waved his wand, and presto!

That had been Sam's initial attraction Dean thought. Sam was a geek when it came to understanding and knowing things. The supernatural was no different, but until now he stayed away from it as much as possible because it involved too much evil. But Harry wasn't evil. He was able to give Sam all types of supernatural information, show him spells and potions and charms, all without there having to make any deals, sacrifices, or anything. And Sam loved it...Sam loved Harry!

And Dean? Well, Dean had been very skeptical. His dad had always told him to never trust anything supernatural. That it would get you killed in the end. And most of the time he was right, but not about Harry.

Harry trusted Dean as much as Dean trusted Harry.

The same thing was for Harry who had been warned about hunters before taking a trip across the pond. To the good Witches and Wizards, hunters, especially the Winchesters were like the boogeyman to them.

The mistrust last a while, but it all change one night Harry was ambushed by what Dean later learned were "Death Eaters", Dean saw the way Harry was hunted, saw the ounce of fear in his eyes that tried to sneak in there, only to be stomped on by something...something Dean himself was forced to develop at an early age. Dean isn't sure if it has a name. Its a mixture of heroism, bravery, determination...and yet that wasn't what it was. It was the tiredness in Harry's eyes, the same look he saw in his fathers eyes, that Dean's attitude change about Harry.

Harry was an outcast, like them, but even though Harry was younger than both him and Sam had the same tired eyes of his father. His obsessed with the hunt, ex-marine, war veteran father. Dean understood Harry's light sleeping habits, his paranoia that rivals theirs. Later Harry confided in Dean that all of his life he had been hunted...that it just never stopped.

The door to the bathroom opened to reveal a refreshed Sam, already redressed and ready to go.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

"The bar," Sam replied quietly.

"Wait up, I'll go with you," Dean said.

"No thanks Dean...I don't want any company," Sam answered.

Dean looked at Sam with a deep frown, "I don't think so Sammy."

"Its Sam, Dean. And I didn't ask for your permission. I don't feel like hearing anything from you right now," Sam said and without waiting for a response from his brother, left.

Dean's eyebrow twitched and his face showed his annoyance. Sighing, Dean headed for the shower himself. No use trying to go after Sam when he was like that.

As Dean washed himself, his mind wondered back to his previous thoughts.

After making a truce and starting to actually act civil towards one another they realized how much they had in common. They both loved Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Aerosmith. Plus they had the same eating habits.(When they first went to a diner Harry had been the first to order and his order was: a double bacon cheese burger with extra everything on it, a side of fries, a chocolate milkshake, and a piece of apple pie.) Though that was when they were out to eat. Once they were at Bobby's or visiting Lisa and Ben Harry would take over the kitchen and his cooking was _amazing_!

Sam and Harry then started acting weird around one another and after watching their attempts become _painful_ to **him**, Dean just told them to fuck and get it over with already! Dean wasn't really sure what exactly happened but the week that followed they were like a newlywed couple. Granted a weird one, I mean Sammy with his freakishly tall self, Harry being a wizard, and the supernatural that hunted them and the supernatural they hunted, they were very weird...plus other reasons, but they were a couple nonetheless.

Harry had met their father a few times. The first couple of times they had kept their relationship a secret, but later it was revealed. Their dad wasn't necessary pleased, well to everyone else he wasn't, but Harry...he's a special guy.

Maybe it was his spunk, maybe it was his own stubbornness that rivaled their dad's, maybe it was his hero like stupidity that he bumped heads with the Famous John Winchester, but somehow he had gained their fathers approval. _**That**_! Was a surprise and miracle all in it self.

Lisa had once told Dean that maybe their father approved of Harry because he was different but in a good way. Harry, unlike Lisa and Ben, was able to travel with them. Was able to fight and defend himself against what was out there. Harry knew worse things out there than the brothers did, Harry could act the normality that Sammy wanted, but still kept him in the line of the family business that their father wanted. Being with Harry meant that they both won and John was able keep both his sons and this time...this time without the hate.

Dean let the idea nest in his mind. He liked it. He liked it a lot. And for a while it was true.

Yeah they hunted, fought baddies, unburied graves, and all that nightmarish stuff, but on the side they were the most normal they had been in years. Harry and Dean would talk about music and cars and Harry's world and other stuff while the three of them were together, and while Sam had Harry all to himself they were like a regular couple. They did what they needed to do, but also had everything that they hadn't had before.

And Harry had given them that.

And then Dean went to hell.

After he had returned he noticed the changes immediately. Harry was thinner than he remembered, and boy was that kid scrawny to begin with. His skin seemed even more pale, and his eyes were surrounded with darkness. When he had returned and Harry hugged Dean...call it his older brother instincts, but it was something odd about that hug.

It was relief, which was understandable, but there was something more. With the relief came something more. A desperation, a need of protection, and the exhaustion... !

It really kicked Dean in the ass. Harry had been a war hero, a war warrior, a war veteran, and yet the vibes that he was getting from him where that of a frighten child that fear the monster in the dark and wanted nothing more but his big brother to make it go away.

Getting out of the shower, that line was engraved in Dean's mind...

"Make the monster go away..." Dean whispered.

Inside his mind Dean knew the name of the monster, his mind knew it, but his heart refused to say it.

Time passed and Dean noticed the change. Sam would spend more time with him hunting than with Harry. He would ignore Harry's calls and text's, would leave their place in the middle of the night to go to the bar and not return, maybe for hours, maybe for days. And as odd as it seemed to Dean, Sam was on full out denial that anything was wrong. Harry was his best friend and after not standing it anymore Dean wanted some answers, but what he got was his little brother who refused to admit anything remotely wrong. And guilt still ate away at Dean because he had let things slide.

Even when he saw bruises on Harry that hadn't been there before and knowing that Harry hadn't been on a hunt, seeing how Harry would flinch and back away from people's touches, as if scared he'd be hurt, and how the fear he once saw because of Death Eaters that had been so minuscule that only a paranoid man like Dean could see, increase ten fold, and at the sight of ..._them._

But he ignored it all. Everyone did. It was betrayal in a sense. They all saw it happening, yet no one did anything. No one stopped it or tried to help. They all just turned their cheek to the other side. And finally Harry couldn't take it anymore and he left.

Sam had returned home and after a salt and burn, and tried to find Harry. They had been...on their best terms for the first time in a long time, and Sam thought that maybe they could spend the entire night making it up to one another. With a goofy smile on his face he had gone to search for his Wizard only to find the house empty. Frowning Sam settled himself in their old bed and waited for Harry to come back. Hours passed and Sam was becoming worried. When he finally couldn't stand it anymore he decided to answer nature's call. And that's when he noticed it. Harry's things from the bathroom were missing. Blinking in surprise Sam walked into their bedroom and slowly, almost as if deactivating a bomb, opened their shared closet, only to find Harry's half empty. Fear settled into his stomach and like a madman he ran through the house in search of any trace of Harry...but there were none. To make it worse, Harry shared their lifestyle, their paranoia, everything. If he didn't want to be found...he wasn't going to be found. Even while having Bobby look for him.

_Back in Black_ went off and Dean picked up his cell. It was Lisa.

"Hey baby," Dean greeted softly. He was tired, and his mind was really depressing him, but he didn't want Lisa to worry.

"Dean," Lisa said in a voice that let him know something was wrong.

"What is it? Are you and Ben okay?" Dean asked immediately.

"We're fine Dean," Lisa reassured and Dean let out a breath of relief, but then asked, "What is it then?"

"Remember how you told me that sometimes there would be phone calls I would get hearing about _relatives_ with names... ?"

Dean did remember telling her that. After explaining a bit of their life to Lisa he had mentioned that they couldn't always use their real names so they used alias'.

"Yeah?"

"Well there was a call from a hospital calling about a Henry Black," Lisa all but whispered.

Lisa had befriended Harry and loved him right away. She felt a motherly need to protect him, and he was amazing with Ben. She knew a little something about Harry. Like his Godfather's last name being Black.

"Harry..." Dean whispered and confirmed Lisa's thoughts. "Where?"

* * *

><p>Lisa had given Dean the directions to the hospital and had left a note to Sam explaining things. The Impala had only gone so fast a few other times, and most of the time it was life or death...Dean was glad it was the dead of night and near the middle of nowhere, it made it easier to get to Harry.<p>

Even if Harry could hold his own Dean still worried that the wizard could have been dead.

Arriving at the hospital Dean used the name Lisa had told him to use. Going to the nurses station he asked for a Henry Black.

"Oh yes, the doctors would like to talk with you actually," the nurse said.

Frowning, Dean nodded. A graying doctor in his late years came up to Dean and smiled a reassuring smile, the kind that Dean has learned is the one given in an attempt to ease bad news.

"You must be Dean Black," the doctor said, a hint of an accent on him.

"Yes, Henry's cousin," Dean replied. They had similarishly close traits to pass that off.

"Well I was wondering if you could clear some things up for us," the doctor said.

"I can try," Dean said already thinking of every piece of information Harry has told him about himself.

"Thank you. Has Henry had any of the following illnesses? Chicken pox, measles, asthma, allergies, or any of the sort?" the doctor asked.

Dean thought back. They had mindless conversation to pass idle time and awkward silences.

"Well I know that Henry doesn't have asthma or any allergies. But I can't answer too much of his history. Our dad's were brothers and after a nasty fight, they never spoke again. Henry and I didn't know about one another until my uncle died and told Henry about us. We've only had a few years to get to know each other," Dean explained.

"Ah I see. Well...would you know if there was ever any substance abuse?" the doctor asked.

Dean frowned and answered immediately, "No. Henry isn't that kind of person."

The doctor sighed, "Mr. Black ,Henry was admitted here after being revived due to an overdose."

"Revived? He was dead? !" Dean exclaimed.

"For a moment. It was touch and go...the substance in his system is quite odd. Can't really be identified. And even after being here for almost a day now, still hasn't left his system at all. It's similar to heroin but not. And...that's not all," the doctor's face grew grimmer, if possible.

"What?" Dean asked though he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

"I have to ask this because it somewhat obvious...what was Henry's sexual preference?" the doctor asked.

Not understanding exactly what that had to do with anything Dean answered cautiously, "Well...he played for the same team if that's what you mean."

Sighing again the doctor said, "I really can't say if I was fearing you were going to said that or not."

"Why?" Dean demanded.

"Henry was awake for some time after we restarted his heart," Dean cringe at that, "and...well, he seemed traumatized. Like in a panic state, hysterical almost. The way some patients who have claustrophobia get when they're in an enclosed space, and...well there was some very big hints in abuse. Upon further examination there were scars and wounds found all over his body...some of the psychologist from the psych ward came down here and they are prepared to confirm rape as a diagnoses."

"Stop..." Dean held out his hand, "Please...just stop."

The doctor nodded and gave Dean the time to get his bearings together.

"Is he okay _now_?" Dean asked.

"Well, like I've mentioned we're not sure exactly what this drug is, but its powerful. It's keeping him very obscure. He's also very violent when others touch him so we've been force to sedate him." Dean nodded in understanding, "But perhaps the face of someone familiar will help him regain some lucidity." the doctor offered with a warm smile. Dean tried to return it but failed. And the doctor sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time in their conversation. "Though I have to be honest with you Mr. Black, in Henry's condition its not as simple as slapping on a band aid and letting it heal on its own.

"From the few moments of his lucidity your cousin seemed to have a severe case of PTSD. I've been around for a long time Mr. Black...if that is your real name. With what Mr. Potter has done in his past and whatever the hell happened to him recently...Well I'm not sure if full recovery is possible."

"How do you know who he is?" Dean asked.

"His scar made him famous...there's not another like it, or him. He's been fighting evil since he was one year old...no matter if that be the supernatural or natural kind," the doctor said.

"Do you know him? Personally I mean?" Dean asked.

"...My granddaughter, Hannah, went to school with him and married one of his friends. I've heard things about him. Though now a days its mainly rumor...To think of what that boy has been through." shaking his head the doctor said, "It was only a matter of time before he finally broke."

Running his hand through his hair and blinking back the forming tears and humorlessly asked, "That bad, huh?"

"Medically he's not supposed to be allowed out of here," the doctor began and then looked over his shoulder and dragged Dean into Harry's room. Looking to where the doctor had looked Dean looked and saw some suites, "Whenever there is any sign of anything like child, domestic, or any type of abuse to the degree that Mr. Potter is in the feds are forced into the situation to look into the matter."

Dean groaned in frustration.

"You will need to give a short statement. Just saying that _Henry_ disappeared without you knowing what happened. Add in the story about your _fathers_, and that you'll take care of _Henry_. It should be enough get them away for tonight. I'll discharge Mr. Potter later..."

"But you said he's not allowed out of here," Dean said.

"I said he's not _supposed_ to, but that substance he used isn't muggle drugs. If he stays and awakens enough they'll demand things he can't answer and I doubt he has the strength of apperating out of here, let alone take care of himself. I'll give you some medicine and some potions I have in stock, plus some instructions for you...Mr. Potter has done a great deal for our world...its about damn time we returned the favor."

Smiling a small smile Dean said, "Thank you...you knew to call us didn't you?"

Smiling a small smile of his own the doctor said, "His headmaster and I were once friends in school...and you know how all old people know one another...and we always know what we're doing."

* * *

><p>After giving his statement to the police, which was torture because somehow they kept on insisting Dean give more information. About an hour later Dean emphasized that part of <em>not<em> knowing Henry until recent years and Henry _disappearing _about half the year ago, oh and that they were _**family**_!

Finally it was after two in the morning and the doctor helped Dean sneak Harry out into the Impala. Easier with the fact that something majorly wrong was just so happen to happen in the top floor. The doctor gave Dean his personal cell number in case any..._odd, _things happen that needed unrecorded medical attention. Plus also a few numbers that were apparently some of Harry's friends who either didn't know he was alive or didn't know where he was and could do with some closure.

* * *

><p>Making his way back to the hotel Dean's face furrows with irritation and gloom. Instead of going all the way back to his hotel room with Sam, Dean gets another place. He knew that eventually he had to go get Sam so he called Lisa and asked to come and help care for Harry. She answered at the second ring and told him that Ben and her where on the way.<p>

In the mean time Dean made Harry as comfortable as possible on the rigidity old bed that squeaked under Harry's weight, though there wasn't much.

Dean pulled a chair next to the bed and just watched Harry. He sort of remembered doing this for Sam when he was younger and ill. Damn those times were easier. All he had to do was protect Sam...now shit is so complicated.

Another hour passed in silence, so many times did Dean have to check Harry's pulse to make sure he was alive, before Harry finally groaned and opened his eyes a bit.

Instantly panic was in them and he started to flail around and Dean tried his best to keep him calm without scaring him anymore. Once Harry saw Dean, he instinctively clung to him.

To his credit Harry didn't cry, he just...calmed down completely.

"Harry?" Dean asked tentatively as he got on the bed to make them more comfortable.

"Hm?" Harry replied.

"You okay?" Dean asked quietly as he stroked Harry's back in comforting motions.

"You're here, so I'm safe," was Harry's replied.

Smiling at how much Harry, his best and only friend, trusted him, Dean said, "Yeah...nothing's gonna hurt you. Still sleepy?"

"No...I'm tired, but not sleepy," Harry's voice was so quiet and small...it was odd.

"Think your up for some questions?" Dean asked.

"Do I have to?" Harry whined.

"Yes," Dean said in an authoritative voice but still gentle.

Sighing Harry said, "Fine..."

Dean didn't want to out ask about the bruises or addiction, so he went for something else, "Where have you been?"

"I retraced my steps from when I first got here," Harry replied laying back down on the bed. Dean went back to his chair.

"Where is that?"

"When I first got here I stayed in New York for a bit. I then moved west little by little. Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Nevada, California..." Harry murmured.

"What have you been doing?" Dean asked.

"At first...it was easy. Hunting was like second nature to me...I needed it because after everything...that's all I had. Nothing but war and blood and pain..." Harry said in a voice so empty of emotion...so vacant and tired...

"That's not everything you have Harry. You've got me, and Bobby, and Lisa and Ben...and Sammy," Dean whispered.

Harry gave a tired, humorless laugh, and said, "No Dean, I don't got Sammy."

"Course you do," Dean replied.

Harry shook his head violently, "That man who wears Sammy's clothes is _not_ **my** Sammy! My Sammy was never like _that_!"

"Like what, Har?" Dean asked.

"...I dunno..."Harry's British accent got really deep then, "He's just not the man I met. Not the Sammy who's eyes would sparkle when he was going to learn something new, the Sammy who blushed deeply and avoided eye contact when we talked about any type of sex, the Sammy who always looked troubled when we were doing something illegal for the sake of the hunt...Not the Sammy I loved."

"He's had a rough time Har..."Dean said lamely.

Harry's laugh then was maniacal, like a hyenas, "HA! Ben and Lisa had a tough time...I had a tough time...Sam...he...I don't know what the hell happened!"

"When did you start to do drugs Harry?" Dean asked strictly and bluntly.

Harry turned to look Dean right in the eye(Harry's pupils were massive), and instead of seeing the guilt and shame Dean thought he'd see, he saw something else. He saw a smugness and a cold indifference he never wanted his best friend to have.

"It made things...easier!" Harry said in a simple happy obvious under the substance voice.

"Made what easier Harry?"

"The new Sam, duh," Harry replied as if was so obvious.

"What exactly happen between the two of you?" Dean asked. Dean never really knew what happened behind the closed doors of his brothers and best friends relationship. He knew deep down that it wasn't the paradise it had been in the beginning when they were both shy and lovey-dovey. But he didn't really want to know he supposed. He wanted to believe that everything would be alright and that he'd have both family and friends. So he let everything slide. Even after coming back from hell. But after finding Harry again, and in such a state, Dean can no longer ignore it all.

"After you left...he was depressed...that was understandable. You were his world...I...I was supposed to be the one to be there for him. To make him remember that he wasn't alone...that eventually the pain will subside...that we could make it out together...

"But no! No no no no no! It wasn't like that...No he had a demon bitch!" Harry swore and sat up only to fall back down again, "He cheated on me...repetitively with that bitch as he grew more and more addicted to her fucking blood! He had already been drinking...but it just got worse, Dean...

"After the first time we fought I ended up in the hospital...the nurse knew though. I could tell. The way she looked at me with pity...the way she glared at him...trying to get me to tell her the truth and trying to keep him out of my room...I guess she just sees it too much to know what it looks like..."

Longing, fear, desperation, and complete lost was in Harry's eyes as he grabbed Dean's arm and begged him to understand, "I didn't rat him out Dean, I swear! I said I got in a fight in a bar because I was gay...

"After that he didn't touch me for a long while...but he was just a cold and mean...I just...I just couldn't take it anymore...I went to my part of town...the shady part...and when I got back home...it was so empty...it reminded me that I had lost again...people left me...I remembered that I wasn't good enough so that was why Sam had walked out the door every night to be with that bitch...but...but...it made me forget about that...about Sam and hunting and...everything...it took me to memories...the better ones...I liked it..."

Dean's eyes were glassy with tears, and his cheeks were stained with them, "You OD'd Harry..."

"I know!" Harry exclaimed sounding happy about it, and had he not been so out of it Dean would have slapped him for it, "But I didn't die." Harry said sounding annoyed.

Dean groaned, "But that's a _good_ thing, Har."

"No its not!" Harry replied childishly, "If I had died he would have been too disgusted to be with me...he wouldn't have touched me..."Tears rolled down his eyes, not of sadness, but of pain, "I begged him to stop...I didn't want to...not when he was so pissed off drunk!Not when he wasn't thinking of me...He was saying _her_ name! I just grabbed the vile next to the bed and chugged it all down...it's only supposed to be a squirt for a few hours of not being lucid, but the whole thing...it was too much...and yet...not enough..."

More tears fell from Dean.

"Hey Dean?" Harry whispered.

"Yeah Har?" Dean whispered back.

"Am I a bad person?" Harry asked.

Choking back a sob, Dean replied, "Course not. You're a hero...and my best friend."

"Then...why?...Why am I alone? Why does everyone I want to trust betray and leave me? I must have done something bad Dean...the universe is punishing me for something..." it broke Dean to hear Harry speak like that...there weren't anymore tears. But his voice was hollow and void of all life. Then Harry have a short chuckle, "Heh, maybe God just really hates me..."

"NO!" Dean screamed.

Harry turned to look at Dean, his gaze foggy, as if he had been daydreaming and had forgotten Dean was there. Then he smiled, "You're right...you didn't leave me Dean...You even came back from Hell...You're a good friend, mate."

"You damn well better believe I am...And so are Lisa and Ben. They're gonna be here in a while to look after you while I go take care of something," Dean replied as he violently wiped away his tears.

"I like Lisa and Ben...you're lucky you have a good family Dean. And they love you...you wanted to hide from them, but you couldn't...and they didn't leave...they're always there waiting for you. Good or bad times..." Harry rambled.

"Yeah, they're awesome...and they're there for you too," Dean said.

"You think so?" Harry asked.

"I know so," Dean answered.

Harry yawned, "I think I actually am tired Dean...mind if I get a little sleep?"

"Not at all, buddy."

Harry smiled and closed his eyes. "Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we'll ever find our Sammy? I miss him." But didn't hear Dean's reply because he quickly fell asleep.

Looking at what was left of his best friend Dean frowned and replied, "I don't know Har...I've got no idea where our Sammy is."

Silence engulfed the room again. Dean back at his post watching over Harry, his over protectiveness on overdrive. Lisa and Ben arrived a few hours later. They were relieved to see Harry again. While Ben sat next to Harry and combed through his hair Dean explained everything to Lisa.

* * *

><p>Then he was on the road again. It took about another hour for him to get back to his hotel room where Sam was. When he walked through the door he was ambushed by his little brother.<p>

"Where is he? !" Sam demanded and grabbed Dean by his shoulders.

Forcibly removing Sam's hand from him, Dean asked, "Where's who?"

"Harry! You left a note saying you might have found him!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean silently cursed, having forgotten that. The older Winchester didn't reply but instead held a manila folder out to his brother.

"What's this?"

"The reason I've been gone all night," Dean replied.

Sam skimmed over the report but looked confused, "I don't understand."

"What's not to understand? Henry Black overdosed, he was covered in wounds, and, oh, this was just the cherry on top, has history of being raped!"

Sam looked silently at Dean and Dean whispered, "Read his description..."

Name: Henry Black

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Black

Gender: Male

As Sam skimmed over it once more something caught his eyes that made vile rise in his throat.

"_Lightning bolt scar on forehead."_

"Harry..."

"Yeah...Harry," Dean said.

Rage rose in Sam and he let out an animalistic roar, and then raged filled eyes zeroed in on his brother and demanded, "WHO DID THIS TO HIM!"

"Who did this?" Dean repeated, then laughed a bit and shook his head, "Who did this, he says..."

Dean grabbed Sam and pulled him into the bathroom.

"You want to know who's responsible for Harry's condition? Well he's right there!"

Sam stared eyes wide into his own reflexion. Self disgust, guilt, shame, and dread entered him as his legs gave in on him and he crumbled into a fetal position and he cried.


	2. Ben and Lisa, Harry's Haven

**Authors Note:** Wow...wasn't really expecting a lot of people to like it. Just something of a spur of the moment kind of thing. After seeing that so many people liked it I was going to make sequel after sequel to explain the whole mess of what's going on in my mind. But that sounded far too complicated and you've all talked me into it!

So instead this will be a chapter story but the formats of each chapter will seem like a one shot. Each chapter having its own summary, rating, genre and all that. First chapter was basically Dean and Harry. I want to make a chapter in which all of the previously mentioned characters get a chapter.

Once that's done with I want to take a look, in flashback form I suppose, into moments of Sam and Harry's relationship. And after that the healing process can begin.

* * *

><p><strong>Title:<strong> Not Our Sammy

**Author:** Luna Knyte

**Genre:** Friendship/Family

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: **Past-Sam/Harry(romance) Dean/Harry(friendship) Ben and Lisa/Harry(Family/Friendship)

**Chapter Name:** Ben and Lisa, Harry's Haven

**Summary: **After Dean called, Lisa quickly got into her car, Ben hot on her heals, and they drove into the night. When they arrived and saw Harry looking so exhausted, hurt, and defenseless, it broke their hearts. To Ben, Harry was a great older brother and godfather figure. To Lisa, Harry was like her own son. She saw him just the way she saw Ben, and as a mother, the worse thing to happen in her life was something happening to her children. Taking Harry back to their home they were determined to make it his haven...somewhere he can feel safe.

* * *

><p>Lisa watched as Dean drove away, and then looked back at the bed where Ben was still stroking Harry's hair.<p>

Ben looked up and asked, "How is he?"

Sighing Lisa answered, "From what Dean told me, not so good."

"Are we taking him home?" Ben asked.

"Yes...but we'll wait until morning. Even though I'm too restless to sleep I don't like the idea of driving in the night...besides, Harry still needs rest," Lisa replied.

Ben nodded and there was a brief silence as both just watched Harry's chest rise and fall. Then Ben broke it by speaking an inevitable accusation, "_He_ did this to him, didn't he?"

Lisa's eyes didn't leave Harry as she replied in a whisper, "Yes Ben...he did."

There was no more conversation after that. Each of them deep in their own thoughts. Lisa didn't even bother trying to tell Ben to get some hours of sleep. Even though Ben lived a relatively normal life he was extremely careful with the people he let in. Lisa had allowed Dean to tell Ben of some of the things that were out there. Not enough to scare Ben from never leaving the house, but enough for him to know how to stay safe.

Ben went to school like a regular kid, he was on the soccer team, was a very social boy...heck! He's even had a few dates here and there. But he can't really call anyone of those kids friends...not by the standards of his friendship with Harry. They were all merely schoolmates, acquaintances, but they were people he might lose touch with after they graduated.

Friend...it was a word that today is tossed around too easily that it has lost its true meaning. Every person you meet is now your friend apparently. Its just like other words like 'love' and 'hate' and 'goodbye'.

They were all serious words and are used to commonly that they lose their initial meaning.

When you **love** someone that means that your every thought consist of their being. That being away from them brings you sadness and pain. When you see them smile and hear them laugh it makes you happy for no reason...and when you're together, nothing else matters.

Saying _goodbye_ means never seeing that person again. Other cultures use terms like "so long", "see you later", "until tomorrow", but never goodbye unless the person you are telling goodbye to is leaving and never coming back.

Words have power, but as generations pass they lose their meaning...

Friend.

That word alone is left for the people who you can trust. They are the family that isn't related by blood. The ones that you automatically think of inviting when a special occasion pops up. The ones you worry about when something goes wrong in the world. The ones that give you refuge when you're family is suffocating you, the ones that know you enough to ask what's the matter and don't stop bothering you until they get the whole truth.

Harry was Ben's friend. It was so strong, their friendship, that it was almost that they were family.

To Lisa, like mentioned before, Harry was like a son. And being a mother changes everything. The world is suddenly more dangerous and scary. You're not scared of it, no, you've lived through almost everything, but you're scared for them. You don't want your child to hurt, to cry, to know that the world isn't the happy place it could be.

When Harry first came into her home she was skeptical. No one who came from Dean's life was ever...normal. And that meant that he could be dangerous. As time passed though, danger, was the last word to describe Harry Potter.

He was polite and generous, witty and funny. He knew his place when it came to the raising of Ben. Unlike Dean that tried to get Lisa to forgive whatever idiotic thing her son had done, Harry let her do what she needed to do, and he understood. Unlike Dean who saw it from Ben's point of view as her overreacting. Harry knew it was just a mothers worry. Whenever Ben did anything he wasn't supposed to there was always a danger. And that danger could get out of hand, especially with what was out there, and she could have lost her son...her baby boy. Once the punishment was over Harry would then go talk to Ben and explain it all to him, and since those times Ben and Lisa have little to no problems. There wasn't ever really any problems, but there are times when a parent and a child just don't see eye to eye. Thanks to Harry though, everything is nothing but smooth sailing.

Hours passed and soon daylight was breaking through the window of the shabby motel room. Lisa had gotten about an hour of sleep but was awaken by the light that enter her eyes. Blinking away the sleep she looked at the bed and saw Ben resting next to Harry. Ben was softly snoring, which made Lisa smile a little, but then it turned to a frown when she looked at Harry and saw him all but motionless. She placer two fingers at his neck and checked his pulse.

"Is he alright?" Ben asked.

"He's alive..." Lisa replied.

"Are we leaving?" Ben asked.

"I wanted to wait until Harry regained consciousness but I think it'll be better to get him home," Lisa said.

Nodding Ben stood up and helped his mom get hold of Harry and move him into the car. Once he was safely place in the back seat, buckled in, Lisa placing the traveling pillow on Harry's neck so it wouldn't get sore, and Ben getting the medical bags Dean had gotten into the trunk of the car did they drive off.

The ride home was silent. It was a bit unnerving so half way through Ben turned on the radio. It might have been destiny or the universe or karma or whatever the hell you wanted to call it when _High Way To Hell_ started playing.

* * *

><p>Harry opened his eyes and blinked until they focused. His head really bloody hurt! Small glimpses of the last few days flashed into Harry's mind.<p>

He remembered going to the bar and getting drunk. He remembered walking home only to wake up the next day in the park. He remembered having a hunter come up to him and asked him, by his name, who he was. It was obvious that Bobby was still looking for him. Thinking of Bobby only made it inevitable to Sam to come into his mind, and when that happened...

His addiction started long ago. After coming to the USA but before Dean went to hell. His problem started behind Sam's back, it just so happened that Sam was added to the equation after Dean's death. Coming to America was Harry's only escape. The world that had once saved him from his personal hell in his aunt and uncles house had turned their back on him, even after everything he had done for them. Instead of being a hero he was now a threat. Though not everyone saw it like that. The ministry, some pure bloods, and other powerful people were the ones who suggested that Mr. Potter get some seals to block his power and be monitored more closely. Others who were grateful to what Harry had done protested. Civil war would have broken out, and after fighting a war that encircled him, Harry decided to fake his death.

Most believed it, others held hope that their hero was still out there.

The drug, _Memorial Bliss_, was first given to Harry by some American wizard. Its only supposed to be taken in small doses, but one dose was powerful enough to take you away for about half a day. It relaxes the muscles, sharpens and dulls the brain at the same time, and as the magic affect allows you to relive any memory as livid and clear as the day it happened, no matter how new or old it was. And because it wasn't a muggle drug it had no after affect on the body...if taken in the right doses.

Harry would relive his life as an infant. Where he saw his mother and father, and Serious too, with him, happy...

He would relive the first time he met Hagrid and learned about who he really was. His memories of his friends, of the normal and peaceful times, of their laughs and triumphs.

Then he would wake up and be brought back from reality. When he first started it was because even his friends across the pond didn't know if he was truly dead or not. He hated not seeing them. Hated knowing he'd hurt them by leaving them. Hated knowing that they could be in danger and he'd have to leave them fend for themselves. Hermione who had been like his sister. Ron, who was like his brother and best mate, Ginny...he loved her so much! And Teddy! His godson...

Thinking of Teddy brought back everything that happened with Serious. How his godfather's image was tainted by the ministry and was deemed as a villain, imprisoned, and then forced to run. Never a free man. Enemy at one point, reunited for a short while only to be taken again by death!

It looked like history was repeating itself with him and Teddy.

"Harry?"

Harry looked up from his thoughts and saw Ben in the doorway. Looking around the room he realized that he wasn't in some cheap hotel room in the middle of the country.

"Ben?" Harry asked, his voice rough, unused, and throat dry.

Ben walked up to the counter and grabbed the glass of water that was placed there and handed it to Harry. Taking a sip and refreshing his throat, when had been the last time he drank any liquid? Too long if he couldn't remember, and tried to speak again, "Where am I?"

"Home," Ben answered simply with a smile.

"How did I get here?" Harry asked as he sat up in the bed.

"Mom and I picked you up after Dean told us where you were," Ben replied.

"Dean?" Harry echoed. Now that you mentioned it Harry did remember Dean...not in a memory but more...real. It wasn't the first time that he had taken more than one dose of the drug so he remembered that as it worked its way out of his system there would be moments of lucidity...the rest of the time was chaos.

One dose activates and enhances the part of the brain that holds the memories. Taking more than one dose, Harry had been warned, would activate and enhance other parts of the mind like the emotions and senses. So while under the influence Harry had been on extra alert, his thoughts more real, and sometimes his fear would be stronger than everything else. Last night, or yesterday or whenever, his thoughts and emotions were in a war within himself and his good memories lost. They brought out memories of the new Sam...and with the drugs power to increase the emotions behind the very clear memory...

But Dean had showed up and saved him. With Dean no one would dare hurt him. Not his uncle, not Voldemort, not the Dementors, not even Sam. Dean was the only person on this side of the pond that was his friend without expecting anything in return. He liked Harry for Harry. And what's more, Harry was the one being protected in their relationship, not the one doing the protecting. That was Dean's job.

"You okay Harry?" Ben asked.

Shaking his head a little Harry replied, "Sorry...trying to remember everything from the last few days. I think I do remember Dean here and there. Where is he?"

Looking away for a bit Ben finally said, "He was on a hunt with Sam. Then we got a call from a hospital about a Henry Black. Dean went and got you..."

"Did...did S-" Harry started but Ben shook his head.

"No, Dean got you by himself."

Nodding they settled into a silence.

"Is it out of your system?" Ben asked.

"Yes. Sorry if I worried you. Taking a single dose only last about six hours at the most. I...might have taken more than that," Harry replied lamely.

"You shouldn't haven taken it in the first place!" Ben exclaimed and then went into a full rant to chide Harry, "You shouldn't have been out there alone! You should have come and lived here!...with us. Or at least called! It's almost been half a year since I last saw you Harry!"

Looking down in shame Harry whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"Damn right you should be sorry! I was scared Harry! I _know_ what's out there...and the thought that your hunting it? ! And alone! ?," Tears fell as Ben opened his heart to Harry.

"Mom and I are more careful with what we do and who we meet. I don't trust people as easily as I used to and I don't mind, and you know why?" Ben demanded and Harry shook his head, "Because the people I do trust are worth that trust and mean more to me! How do you think I feel when I don't know where you are or if you're even _alive_! ?"

_Probably the same way my friends back in Britain feel_, Harry thought.

"I'm sorry Ben..." Harry repeated.

"Can I at least have an answer?" Ben asked.

It took some time for Harry to come up with an answer, and finally he said, "...You're right Ben. The people who obtain your trust are extremely special and you have to do your part...that's what any relationship is. Two sides of one whole...when Dean died I lost yet another friend," Ben nodded, knowing that when Harry used friend he meant someone real important to him, "and long the way I lost another without physically losing him...I just couldn't trust him anymore...So I ran. It was a cowardly thing to do, I know, but he made me doubt myself...and if I couldn't trust him or myself...I didn't think I could trust anyone." Harry's voice had become vacant all over again like when he had talked to Dean.

"...Its fine Harry. I forgive you," Ben said feeling guilty. He had lashed out on Harry because of his own selfishness. He had forgotten what Harry had gone through.

"You forgive too easily Ben...It could hurt you sometimes. Be sure you should forgive me before you do," Harry said but it sounded like he was speaking to himself.

"I know I forgive you. I was just mad because I missed you and I was worried about you. You're like brother and...I don't want to lose you," Ben replied.

They stayed in another silence before the smell of food reached their noses and Harry's stomach growled loudly. If he couldn't remember when was the last time he drank something, food was even longer ago.

"Can you walk?" Ben asked.

Getting up and standing for a minute to make sure he doesn't stumble, Harry nods.

"Okay come on then. Mom's making spaghetti and meatballs," Ben said and helped Harry down the stairs and into the kitchen where Lisa was busy cooking.

When she saw him she went over immediately and hugged him. Then she kissed his forehead and wiped away some stray tears.

"I'm so glad you're awake hun," Lisa told him.

"Thank you..." Harry whispered.

Sniffing and wiping her last tear she ushered him to a chair and said, "Dinner's almost ready. Anything else that you want?"

"No...this is fine," Harry answered.

"None of that. If there's anything you want or need I need to know Harry," Lisa ordered.

Looking down and looking sheepish Harry answered, "Chocolate."

"Chocolate?" Ben echoed.

Nodding, Harry said, "I don't know why, but whenever I was hurt, injured, or just feeling crappy I was always given chocolate. Its a magic thing I guess. Chocolate makes everything feel better..."

Laughing Lisa said, "It's not a magic thing sweetheart, its a human thing. I'll start on a chocolate cake right away. In the mean time, Ben, get Harry some M&M's from Dean's secret stash in the garage."

"Kay mom!" Ben said enthusiastically. Harry would get better, he'd make sure of it.

"Thanks Lisa...it means a lot. I don't know how long I'll stay here," Harry began.

"You'll be staying here until Dean and I see fit. No ifs, ands, or buts!" Lisa told Harry and made sure her voice left no room for arguing.

Nodding Harry said "Thank you," he thinks he'll he saying that a lot to them in the next few days.

Smiling Lisa hugged Harry again and told him, "Your safe here Harry...we're not going to let him, or anyone else hurt you ever again..."

* * *

><p>So that was it! For now...<p>

I was really surprised at how much people were into this...Though I wished more people would have reviewed :(

Anyway...I feel like this was too much Ben and not enough Lisa. I kind of want to give her a chapter...have a talk with Harry, sort of mother to son kind of thing.

After Lisa it'll be Bobby's chapter.

After Bobby's chapter I was thinking of a chapter where Sam tries to see Harry but Lisa(and a little bit of Dean because he is torn between his baby brother and best friend) won't let him.

But what do you guys feel about adding Cas and John?

With Cas I can have him reveal more things to the brothers and company about Harry's past, because Harry is too modest to reveal all the hurt and angst and stuff, but Castiel being Castiel wouldn't know where that fine line is and spill the beans about Harry's treatments and suffering during his time as a child. And he would know all that because I would assign Castiel to have been Harry's guardian angel as a child.

With John...I don't know, I just like John. But I think I can work with him...add some more angst with the Winchesters you know? That's always loved.

What do you guys think?

I wasn't sure how long I was going to make this. I can add more by adding all of the characters points of views, but I don't know...what do some of you want to see from them? Anything in particular from Lisa? Bobby? Castiel? John?...Sam?


	3. Baby Steps

**Title:** Not Our Sammy

**Author:** Luna Knyte

**Genre:** Family/Hurt/Comfort

**Rating: **T**  
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**Pairing: **Past-Sam/Harry(romance) Dean/Harry(friendship) Ben and Lisa/Harry(Family/Friendship)

**Chapter Name: **Baby Steps

**Summary: **Harry has been living with Ben and Lisa for a while. They avoid anything and everything that deals with monsters, hunting, and a specific hunter that will remain unnamed. Harry seems completely normal, but its obvious that he just used to putting on a mask for everyone. The question isn't really if they can remove it, but can they handle what's under it?

* * *

><p>"<em>What's your problem Peter? !" <em>Lois Griffin demanded on the episode of Family Guy.

"_You wanna know what my problem is Lois? I. Care. Too. Much!" _Peter said as he grabbed Lois by her shoulders and shook her.

"_Peter you're scaring me..." _Lois says.

"_GOOD! EMBRACE THE FEAR! DANCE WITH ME LOIS! DANCE THE DANCE OF LIFE!" _Dances into a china cabinet and crashes,_ "Uh...maybe you should go ahead and call that marriage councilor."_

Ben and Harry laugh as they watch the antics of the fat man on television. Family Guy was by far the funniest thing to be on the air. The two ravens were sitting on the couch in the living room, a bowl of popcorn in-between them and a can of coke each.

"Ben start getting ready for bed," Lisa's voice came in as she entered the living room and took the single seat.

"Awe...but mom, Family Guy isn't over yet!" Ben whined.

"I don't care Ben. You've got school in the morning and it's already hard to get you to wake up. Now off to bed," Lisa said.

Huffing, Ben stood up and stretched. He gave Harry a hug and his mom a kiss before going up to his room.

"He's a great kid," Harry said.

"For only having a me to raise him I think so," Lisa said with a chuckle.

Harry didn't laugh though but looked at her seriously, "I'm serious Lisa. Ben is a wonderful boy. You've done an incredible job as a mother...don't ever joke about it."

Smiling Lisa went to sit next to Harry and placed an arm around him, "Thanks Harry. It means a lot to hear that. People take parenting for granted, you know? Its just one of those things that's there."

"I know...like the sun, and water, and air...all very important, life required things," Harry replied with a playful smile of his own now.

"Right. So...you hungry? There are still some brownies left," Lisa offered.

Ever since his first night back, Lisa has been making chocolate goodies nonstop. The fridge is never bare of chocolate bars, M&M's(every two she buys for Harry she buys one for Dean), chocolate syrup, and chocolate frosting. There are also oreos and chips ahoy.

"I'll take one please," Harry said. He may have chocolate at least once a day now...but he hasn't tired of them yet.

Getting some treats with some milk for both her and Harry Lisa returns to the living room. After they got comfy Harry changed the channel and they played a movie instead. It was a comedy, Lisa didn't like anything to be depressing around Harry. He was finally going to have the nice and loving world he deserved to have in the beginning.

"Do you know when Dean'll be home?" Harry asked.

Harry would talk to Dean at least once a day, if not more. There was something in Harry that wanted, needed, to talk with Dean. Even though he loved Ben and Lisa with all his heart, his internal instincts needed to hear Dean's voice. Knowing that Dean was alive and would come to see him soon gave Harry's mind a great peace. Ben and Lisa were great, but they were civilian. If anyone came to hurt him they wouldn't be able to do anything. Not that he was putting them down or anything, it was just that Dean is an expert in making demons and monsters go away...no matter the face evil took on to fool him. Demons and monsters feared Dean...with him near, nothing would happen to Harry. Dean was just that kind of a person.

"Bobby needed some help but Dean should be home by tomorrow's lunch," Lisa replied.

When talking to Dean about how Harry's behavior was after waking up they decided to make things as normal as possible. Happier, but still normal. That meant Dean hunting. But it was strictly forbidden to speak one hunters specific name. So even though Harry knew that Dean was hunting with Sam, neither Lisa nor Dean would say his name. They always said, "Bobby needed help" or "friend" or something of the sort.

Lisa and Dean still worried because Harry seemed to have snapped back to normal after what had happened at the hospital. Before they would have let it slide because Harry was acting like he would usually, but now they knew better. They didn't know the exact details of Harry's life but they could imply enough to know it wasn't a happy childhood that Harry had. Plus knowing that Harry was some sort of war veteran, _and_ he hunted...Harry wasn't stable. And he was hiding he pain and hurt behind a mask. A mask that was placed there long ago. Perhaps even in early childhood. Even though it seemed pretty stuck on him, the last few trials he's gone through have caused the mask to break. Finally allowing them to remove it. No, if they could remove the mask wasn't really a question. If they could deal with what was _really_ under the mask, was the real question.

"Oh," was all that Harry said.

They watched a good portion of the movie, the popcorn that was left now gone, without either of them saying a word. Though unlike most of his life that were full of constant awkward moments, the ones he had with Lisa weren't like that. They were nice.

"_If mum had been alive, I'm positive this is what it would feel like just being with her,"_ Harry thought and then said out loud, "I like the feeling."

"Like what feeling?" Lisa asked.

Crossing his arms and looking at his feet with a sheepish blush on his pale face Harry said, "When I'm around you...it makes me feel that...this is what it would be like if my mum was around...you know...nice."

Smiling at the younger raven Lisa leaned over to hug him, "Thanks Harry. That's very sweet."

Returning the hug Harry had to ask, "Hey Lisa?"

"Yes Har?"

"If my mum..._was_ alive, do you think...she'd...you think she'd be happy? With...me?" Harry whispered.

Tears quickly wanted to form in Lisa's eyes but she fought them back. Harry needed strength, and he'd get it. "I'd bet my soul that your mother would be as happy and proud of you as I am of Ben. You're an amazing person Harry. You're kind and loyal and so brave..."

"You really think she'd think that? There would be nothing about me that...you know...would make her not proud?" Harry asked looking down at the floor. Lisa knew he meant Sam, or maybe just him ever being with another male.

"If there was anything your mother would have a problem with Harry," Harry looked up at her waiting for harsh words, "Is when you're loyalty to your friends and the sake of good cause you to put your life on the line and you somehow end up at Death's doorstep." Harry sucked in a breath of surprise and Lisa smiled kindly at him and cupped his cheek, "No mother in the world wants her child to suffer or have to face danger. If Ben, god forbid, ever took up hunting I would be pissed. I couldn't handle knowing he was out there...its bad enough you and Dean were out there..."

"Do...do you want to see my mum?" Harry asked quietly, as if he'd asked a stupid question. Like Lisa wouldn't want to see him mom.

"Of course Harry," Lisa whispered and caressed his face a bit.

Nodding Harry stood and raced upstairs, still being quiet as to not wake Ben, and returned shortly after. There was a book in his hands. Lisa saw upon closer inspection that it was an album.

"My friend Hagrid gave this to me when I was eleven," Harry said and handed the album to Lisa.

Taking it Lisa opened the album to the first page and looked in awe. The picture was moving!

"Our pictures move...they make the memory more real I suppose," Harry said.

Lisa nodded and smiled as she looked at the picture. It was like a home movie of just a moment. And in that moment everything was fine for Harry. He was a mere baby with nothing to worry about, both of his parents by his side taking care of all the troubles and dangers there may have been.

The woman, Harry's mother, who was holding baby Harry couldn't look happier as she held her son close and kissed him now and then. She had fiery red hair and mesmerizing emerald eyes. The man, Harry's father, looked proudly and lovingly at his wife and son and kissed baby Harry's little hand. He had jet black hair and glasses similar to the ones Lisa's used to seeing on Harry. And baby Harry himself looked content and joyful. Smiling at the camera and kissing his parents back.

"You look just like your father...but you," Lisa began.

"Have my mother's eyes. I know," Harry said proudly, "I've been told that a lot."

"They are beautiful Harry," Lisa said.

"Were...they're dead now, remember?" Harry said solemnly.

"But their love is still with you Harry. Never forget that," Lisa said.

Nodding Harry said, "I know that. It's actually my mothers love that I'm still alive."

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked.

"I..I've never told anyone about my past in Britain and I'm not ready to," Lisa nodded in understanding and squeezed his knee to let him know she understood, "But I will tell you that someone wanted to kill me as a baby," Lisa gasped, "My father, James, died trying to give my mum enough time to run with me. Though there was little she could go to. The killer murdered my father and went after mum and me next. She begged him to leave me alone, when she died, she died protecting me. That activated a powerful protecting charm on me. As cheesy and cliché as it sounds, love is the most powerful thing out there. The love my mother had for me forbid evil to even _touch_ me! Whenever anything demonic want to touch me they would burn. They couldn't stand to touch me..."

Smiling kindly at Harry Lisa said, "That's wonderful Harry."

"It was. But it was broken when I turned fourteen. After that year evil was allowed to touch me again," Harry whispered.

Lisa pulled Harry in for another hug. They stayed like that for a while. Both relishing in the fact that they were holding the other. That safety existed at the moment and it wasn't just some dream and, for Harry at least, wasn't in some alley passed out and dying.

"Want to see the rest? My friends are in here too," Harry said as he stood up. Lisa nodded and together looked through Harry's memories. Lisa was the first (human that is)to learn of the people who Harry had left behind. His friends Ron and Hermione, who together they made up the Golden Trio. Hagrid the half giant, Ron's redheaded family, Neville in his awkwardness, Luna with her weirdness. Serious and Remus. The order members. Teddy. Dumbledore and everyone else that meant something to Harry were explained to an extent.

* * *

><p>"Hey babe. How's everything?" Dean asked as he took of his shoes and landed on the bed of yet another motel room. He would have made the whole trip back but it was too long and he was too tired. Plus...Sam wouldn't leave Dean alone now. Almost funny how things changed.<p>

Sam now followed him like a lost puppy wanting to be claimed by a master instead of Dean worrying Sam would run off and do something stupid and evil. Whenever Dean would talk to Harry Sam would get quieter than a mouse and look at Dean and his cell phone as if he were decrypting an ancient tablet or something that was mega important. And to Sam it probably _was_ like that. He hung to every word Dean would say and stretched his hearing as far as it would go in an attempt to hear Harry's voice, and Dean being Dean, unable to see his baby brother hurt as much as he was now didn't leave the room for some privacy. He just didn't mention to Harry that they could be being eavesdropped on.

"Better...I think," Lisa said. But she didn't sound worried, more like really honestly confused.

"Better meaning?" Dean asked and looked over his shoulder to see Sam sitting on the other bed without moving a muscle looking dead serious at him and his phone. It was almost pathetic.

"He...he showed me a picture of his parents and friends from Britain. Told me stories and other things. Times at Christmas and shenanigans he used to get into when he was little..." Lisa said happily.

"Really? !" Dean asked just as happy. That _had_ to be a good sign, right?

At hearing Dean's tone Sam's back straightened and he looked more alert. He bit his lip, and Dean knew Sam wanted to ask why Dean's tone changed.

"Anything else?" Dean asked.

"Not really. He did ask when you were coming home. Other than that we just had another day here," Lisa replied.

"Okay, well thanks babe. I'll catch some sleep and then head out in the morning. If I speed I'll be home for breakfast," Dean said.

"Don't push it Dean. It'd be nice to see you for lunch, and not wait until you get you of jail for after dinner dessert," Lisa chided and Dean chuckled. They said their goodbyes and Dean shut his cell off.

He turned and saw Sam look expectantly at him.

"Everything's fine Sam. Nothing to worry about," Dean said.

"Dean...I..." Sam licked his lips, "I need to see him."

"No," Dean answered immediately.

"Please Dean...it's killing me," Sam pleaded.

"No Sam," Dean said strictly. He even used 'Sam', not 'Sammy' to show how serious he was. Besides Harry had been right. That really wasn't their Sammy. Though their Sammy was showing more and more, but it's just a sick though that this is what it took to bring their Sammy back. "It's too soon."

"It's been weeks!" Sam exclaimed.

"This shit doesn't disappear over night, Sam. Even though I love you and it hurts to see you hurt...Harry's far worse."

"When will I be able to see him then?" Sam demanded, anger rising.

"If you lose your temper as easily in front of me now, there is no way in hell that I'm letting you near Harry. He wanted to _die_, Sam!" Sam cringed at that and Dean whispered, "He's not ready."

"I miss him though..." Sam said miserably.

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon when Dean arrived. Immediately Harry ran to hug him. He, Ben, and Dean then spent most of the day having a guys day out. A baseball game, pizza and ice cream afterward, and then home for TV and then dinner.<p>

It was after dinner that Dean wanted to talk to Harry alone. They were on the front steps looking up at the night filled sky, just sitting in silence and drinking some soda. Ever since Harry returned Dean doesn't drink in front of him. He's learned how much Harry hates drinking and didn't want it to bring back awful memories.

"How you holding up Har?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine Dean," harry reassured. "But why don't you tell me what's really on your mind?"

"What makes you say something like that Har?" Dean asked lamely. He knew Harry knew his mannerisms.

"Is it about Sam?" Harry asked.

Dean sighed, "Yeah Har, it's about him."

"Is he alright?" Harry asked, and Dean was shocked to hear that much concern in his voice. Had he not known better he would have believed the whole thing in the hospital never happened.

"For the most part. He's a wreck without you...and now he knows," Dean said Harry wince.

"How much?" Harry asked.

"The whole thing...I might have lashed out at him and ranted...sorry," Dean murmured.

"S'ok," Harry whispered.

"Kicked his ass though...made me feel a bit better. Not completely, but a bit," Dean said to lighten the mood.

"What's wrong then...if Sam's not in danger?" Harry asked.

Sighing again Dean said, "Sam wants to see you, but I forbid it."

"You..._forbade_ Sam from seeing me?" Harry asked shocked. Dean forbidding Sam from anything he wanted was almost rare, if it wasn't evil.

"Of course. It was his fault you ended up...where you did," Dean replied.

Harry shook his head, "It started before you went to hell. There were other things..."

"What other things?" Dean asked asked immediately and tried to scan Harry, as if just studying him will give him the answers he wanted.

Harry shut his eyes tight, "Not now...please?"

"Of course. When you're ready Har," Dean said reassuringly and squeezed Harry's shoulder for support.

"So...Sam?" Harry said.

"He wants to see you. He's desperate. I'm scared he'll do something stupid and that it might harm or scare you so I said no," Dean confessed.

There was silence before Harry said, "I can try." he'd do anything for Dean.

"No Harry, you don't have to," Dean said quickly.

Harry shook his head, "No Dean it's fine. I'm not one to be a coward. My House at school was known for our famous bravery. I can't just ignore him either. If I do I can't move past this..."

"But you're still scared," Dean stated the obvious.

Harry took in a gulp of air, "We can...we can take it slow...baby steps."

"Baby steps?" Deana asked.

Harry nodded, "Yeah...start out small you know. Call him or something...not actual physical contact...or face to face..."

Letting it all sink in Dean nodded, "Okay...baby steps. And I'll supervise the whole thing. If I see that it's going south any type of way I'm gonna end it all. It's gonna be my call, Okay Har?"

All Harry do was nod.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **It was brought to my attention the... "time line" of events. Since this was originally a one-shot I have to make this announcement. The whole thing is pretty "odd". The time in which Sam was on demon blood, John being alive, and Ben and Lisa being more known are all over the map. Originally that didn't matter because it was just a one shot.

That being stated I have decided that this story will have a lot of AU moments, so please excuse everything that may seem to appear or disappear all willy-nilly. As a fan fiction writer I quite enjoy distorting the laws of physics.

**Example of AU now: **Dean and Lisa. We all know that after Sam jumped into the pit that Dean lived with her and Ben for a year. In this world even though Dean hunts somewhat regularly with Sam and Bobby he has longer visits with Lisa and calls her and all that lovey-dovey stuff.

**Example of AU later: **John. I kind of want a chapter with some Winchester family moments. And I have some pretty good ideas on how to bring him back(or kept him from dying, which ever). For example. While the whole fiasco happened Harry could have helped save Dean and it wouldn't come to John making a deal with the YED. _Or_...in the six months Harry had been gone he could have found a way to bring John back, seeing as after everything with Voldemort he sort of became the master of death and all of that. Add in the Deadly Hallows some Angels or Demons, and some magic and I think we have a plan.

**Other pairings: **Someone mentioned adding Loki, otherwise known as Gabe, as another character into the mix. Have some things happened and make them a couple. If I do add Gabriel it will be in later chapters. I haven't really read a lot of stories of Harry/Gabriel though they seem popular I suppose. I might not have them end up together, but I can use it as a jealousy fuel.

I was also thinking about a few other people...namely some wizards and witches. So...what do you guys think of Draco Malfoy(possible lover to Harry) and/or Ginny(the thing with Ginny is that if I add her I am very tempted to have had her had a child of Harry, though without his knowledge, but then I might have to kill her off.)

But what about...Ginny having had Harry's kid, but dies in a duel of sorts, and then just have Draco appear at Harry's door with his kid?

Please review!


	4. Gone To Bobby

**Title:** Not Our Sammy

**Author:** Luna Knyte

**Genre:** Family/Friendship/Suspense

**Rating:** T

**Pairing: **Past-Sam/Harry(romance) Dean/Harry(friendship) Ben and Lisa/Harry(Family/Friendship)

**Chapter Name: **Gone To Bobby's

**Summary: **Dean is torn between his little brother who he has protected since forever and his best and only friend who has suffered more than anyone he knows. He wants everything to go back to normal, and Sam really wants to see Harry again, but Dean doesn't think he's ready. While working on a system that may work out Harry decides to leave the house for a weekend, and since Dean has become super protective of him, Harry doesn't have much of a choice as to where he goes. So, he's spending the weekend at Bobby's.

* * *

><p>"Dean, I'll only be out for a few hours," Harry said, annoyance in his voice.<p>

"No way Har," Dean said strictly without looking up from his newspaper.

"I haven't left the house in nearly a month Dean, a _month_!" Harry exclaimed.

"Don't exaggerate Harry. You've left the house plenty of times," Dean replied.

"Going to fetch the mail doesn't count as leaving the house," Harry countered.

"You've done more than get the mail Harry. You've taken Ben to school...gone grocery shopping with Lisa...you've...uh...you've..." Dean coming to a blank.

"Exactly. Nothing. Dean I'm bored and I as much as I fancy Lisa's taste in décor I'm getting sick of seeing the same for walls 24/7. No offense Lisa," Harry said.

"None taken. He's right Dean. We can't keep Harry in the house like a trapped animal," Lisa said.

"Thank you!" Harry exclaimed.

"We aren't treating him like a caged animal," Dean argued. "We're just keeping him safe."

"Dean I get that you're worried about me. I also get that I've done things that don't rub you the right way at all and those very same things are keeping you from trusting me from leaving the threshold but _come on_! Can't I at least take Ben to the arcade or something?" Harry cried.

"No Harry you can't. Do you know what can happen in that short time? I almost lost Sam when he was six because I went to an arcade for a few minutes of...'freedom'. Lesson learned. No arcade!" Dean declared slamming his paper on the counter.

"_Merlin_ Dean! Where the bloody hell can I go that can make you happy and get me the hell outta here? !" Harry demanded.

"...Bobby's," Dean replied.

"That's practically the same as here," Harry muttered as he crossed his arms.

"Well tough. I've got something I need to do and if you don't want to stay here then Bobby's the only other choice you've got," Dean said as he stared down the wizard.

"Fine..." Harry agreed.

"Great. I'll drive you there," Dean said as he stood up.

"No. You said you had things to do and Bobby's is still a drives off. I'll be fine Dean. I'll even call to tell him to expect me. If I'm not there in usual time feel free to hunt me down. Lets be honest, when you set your mind and effort to it there is nothing that can hide from you. I'm no exception," Harry said.

Dean's lips thinned out into a fine line as he thought it over. He knew he was being a bit unreasonable. He knew himself what if felt like to be trapped and didn't like it. Being practically raised on the road, being inside for too long was really claustrophobic. Besides...Harry wouldn't leave. He couldn't. He needed Dean. He needed to hear his voice at least once a day and visual contact weekly with him.

"Fine. But you aren't taking that bike of yours all the way out there," Dean sighed.

"Then what am I supposed to take?" Harry demanded. Before riding with the Winchesters or when he was by himself, he'd use Sirius' old bike.

"...Take the Impala," Dean said simply.

There was quiet all around the room. Three pairs of wide eyes locked on to Dean who was drinking his coffee. Feeling so many eyes on him Dean looked up and asked, "What?"

"You're...willing to let me..._borrow_! The Impala!" Harry asked shocked.

"Well...yeah. I've got my truck in the garage. Plus my baby was built for the road. If anything happens, though it better not, my baby will keep you safe. Not only is she one hundred percent beauty but also one hundred percent muscle." Dean replied with a shrug.

"Um...okay then. I'll call Bobby and...Uh...head out...in the Impala..." Harry said as he got out of the chair slowly and got out of the room.

Ben and Lisa were still staring at him and he turned to look at them as he retook his mug of coffee in one hand and his paper in the other and asked, "What?"

"Nothing," they both said in unison and left the kitchen as well.

Dean watched them all go before shaking his head and muttering, "I'm surrounded by weirdos."

* * *

><p>Harry arrived at Bobby's Salvage Yard after a while. Shutting off the engine roar of the Impala Harry went up to the door and knocked. Bobby opened the door with his infamous scowl of his he usually has on when they do something idiotic...which Harry supposed he has done. Harry gave a nervous smile as he took the flask from Bobby and gave it back after taking a gulp of it down.<p>

Stepping passed Bobby to enter the house Harry stood there for a moment, feeling very awkward.

"You gonna stand there all day like a idjit, boy?" Bobby gruffed out.

"S-suppose not...j-just, you know...w-waiting for it," Harry stuttered. For some reason Harry was nervous. Not in the scared kind of way. But more in the sense of that when a child disappoints their parent by doing something completely foolish...

"Waiting for what? Hearing me tell you what you already know? That you're a complete idjit for what you did and how _stupid_ you were for not knowing how to pick up a damn phone to tell us you were even _alive_? I mean I know you were raised with minimal technology but I didn't think a phone was too advance'd for ya that you couldn't get to one!"

"I'm sorry sir," Harry muttered. Bobby reminded Harry of Remus at times. The strictness and lectures. Even though he felt Sirius as a father figure, Sirius was more of the fun dad than the strict one. Bobby was the one that pointed out his flaws, but unlike his uncle it was so Harry could learn from them, not to humiliate him. And because of that Harry felt ashamed for worrying the older hunter.

Before he could apologize again he was brought into a tight embrace. After pulling away Bobby glared at him and with a pointed finger at his chest chided, "You ever do anythin' stupid like that again and I swear not even Merlin himself can save you from my wrath, boy."

"Yessir!" Harry bit his quivering lip to stop the tears. Feeling the love from different type of people, people who knew what real love was, what it _really_ meant, who have actually lost it, and therefore _know_ to treasure it, love him...it was amazing.

"Now...Dean called after you did. Explicit orders to not let you leave the house unchaperoned," Harry groaned, "But so long as you're back two hours before sundown no one's the wiser. You understand boy?"

nodding Harry exited the house again and climbed back into the Impala and headed into the town. First to get some food. Lisa's cooking was great, but Merlin did he need a double bacon cheese burger! After he'd catch a movie at the cinema or something.

* * *

><p>Dean drove up in his white truck to the temporary apartment Sam had been renting the last couple of weeks. Sam didn't want to be any farther than Harry than needed and this was as close as Dean would allow. As he walked up to the door, Dean didn't even need to knock seeing as Sam had the door already open.<p>

"Where's the Impala?" Sam asked as he walked into the kitchen behind Dean.

Taking out to beers and handing on to Sam, Dean said, "Harry has it."

"You let Harry drive? Dean how could you! ? He could drive off! He could crash! He could...he could..." Sam ranted in anger.

"He's on his way to Bobby's. He's been cooped up inside for weeks. He's getting restless, so I let him take a breather. Sides...I needed to talk to you and this way we know that he's safe with Bobby," Dean shrugged and took a sip of his beer.

Either Sam was too distracted himself by the news of Harry being far away again to not notice Dean's own tenseness, or Dean really was as convincing as he believed.

"He still needs to be supervised Dean! He OD'd for gods sake!" Sam cried.

"I know that Sam. But he couldn't be here anymore. If I didn't let him go on his own then he'd just up and leave on his own to who knows where," Dean said.

"Do you really think Bobby's not gonna let him leave the house?" Sam asked, finally mimicking his brother and taking a seat in one of the chairs.

"Of course I don't. But the thing here is trust Sam. Harry has to trust me to let him go on his own, and I have to trust him to come back to me," Dean said simply.

"Back to you..." Sam whispered. "He always goes back to you doesn't he?" Sam abruptly stood up and caused the chair behind him to fall.

"Sam..." Dean tried to place a hand on Sam's shoulder but Sam furiously shoved his hand away.

"I get it, Okay? I get it! I messed up! I was a complete asshole and ruined everything I had with Harry! I...I ruined my chance at happiness...again...and now _you're_ the one he trust most. _You're_ the one Harry screams for when he's in danger or scared. Now _you're_ Harry's world..." Sam said miserably.

Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes, beers long forgotten. "Sam...Okay yes you've never messed up this big before. That's the understatement of the year. But now that case is closed. All the clues have been found, charges have been pressed, and the verdict has been delivered."

"Yeah...and now I'm serving my life sentence without Harry," Sam muttered as he leaned miserably against the counter with his arms crossed.

"That was not the point I was trying to make Sam," Dean said.

"Then what the hell is your point Dean?" Sam demanded.

"I want things to go back to normal Sam, but for god's sake this isn't just some 'I forgot our anniversary once' thing, or flirting with someone else! You _cheated_ on Harry with a **_demon_**! _And_ you abused him! And even though he's traumatized he's faced so much freaking shit in his life that we don't even _know_ _about_ that somehow he's keeping himself together! And I want to help you fix the shitty situation _you_ got yourself into Sam, because that's what **_I_** do! Now are you gonna stop being a little bitch and let me help you or not!" Dean roared.

Sam was quiet for a while before he whispered, "I'm sorry Dean. I just...I miss him. I want to say sorry so bad...I...I just want to hold him and tell him that I love him until either I can't talk anymore or I've said it enough time to cover all the times I didn't say it before. I want to make it up to him for every wrong touch I've made him go through...but I just miss him...his voice...he doesn't have to love me back Dean...He...he just has to tell me that he's okay...if he does the nightmares will go away...I know they will..."

Dean sighed, "It's not going to be easy Sam. What you've done...it's not something that disappears right away. It's not something that's easily forgiven..."

Dean heard a muffled sob and saw Sam turn away from him, but heard a soft, "I know..."

"Okay...then...I have no idea how we got this visit started so negatively. I had actually come with good news," Dean said, finally remembering his beer, but thinking of Harry, Dean just puts it off to the side. Alcohol doesn't do what it used to for him.

"Really?" Sam asked as he returned to his seat after picking up his seat.

"Yeah. I talked to Harry and he's agreed to try to fix...this," Dean used his index finger point between Sam and the air.

"Really! ?" Sam asked excitedly.

"Yeah...but Sam?" Dean asked.

"Yeah?" Sam asked with a smile of his face, truly happy for a moment after almost over half a year of being miserable.

"Baby steps...like I've said. Shit like this don't disappear over night. We have to think about Harry in this okay. He's agreed to let me be in charge of this whole thing. If I'm not in charge of what goes on then this whole thing is off, understood?" Dean asked.

"Yeah yeah...so, uh...when can I see him?" Sam asked.

"Not yet Sam. Still too soon. Harry's barely being...normal and getting comfortable with things," Dean said.

"So what's baby step one?" Sam asked impatiently.

"One minute phone call. You'll call my cell, if Harry want to answer, he will. You'll be on speaker with me supervising the whole thing. You'll have exactly 60 seconds so make sure your first words get the point across without being overbearing. It's only step one after all," Dean explained the rules of his conditions.

"One minute!" Sam exclaimed, "That's not enough Dean!"

Dean didn't seemed phased at all by his brother's upcoming anger. And simply replied with, "Sam, when you want to get over a phobia you don't just run at it like a mad man. You work your way up to it. Use this example. Being afraid of drowning. I wouldn't send Harry to a scuba diving trip on the first try. That'd be asking for an episode of crazy none of us are ready for. We would start with...a puddle."

"It's only 60 seconds...and he may not pick up at all. Or he might not answer me or say anything," Sam said miserably.

"I know that Sam. But we have to start somewhere. You just call and if he answers...just say hello, how ya doin? You know, basics," Dean said.

Sam was quiet for a long minute before he let out a breath through his nose and nodded stiffly. "Alright Dean...anything to fix this between me and Harry."

* * *

><p>Harry was driving back from Bobby's house and was about half an hour away from Lisa's. Before leaving the wide empty road he had come so familiar with, Harry parked the Impala on the side of the dirt road and got out. Closing the door Harry leaned against the black car and looked up at the sky.<p>

He wasn't good at astrology but he liked gazing at the stars. They made him think of Sirius. How he wanted to be free and how they had planned to buy a house out in the country where there would be millions of stars for them to see, surrounded by miles and miles of open free land for them to run around like children. He smiled at the memory.

He had talked to Sam about it once, still wanting to have what he and his godfather talked about. But that dream, among others went ignored and forgotten. His cell phone rang and Harry looked at it and saw that it was Dean calling. He looked at the screen until it went off only for it to start up again. Sighing, Harry threw the phone into the car and went back to looking at the stars.

"He gets annoyed when you don't answer the device."

Harry didn't jump nor was he really surprised to see the angel next to him with the signature trench coat that could only belong to Cas.

"I know," was Harry's answer.

Their of them didn't say anything for another ten minutes before Harry got into the Impala and headed to Lisa's again.

Parking in the drive way Harry got out of the car and was about to head inside. The famous rumble of the Impala alerted the residents inside that Harry had arrived. Dean was out of the house in seconds. He looked at Harry, first relived, then annoyed, and as he tried to get closer to him, panic. Because as Dean got closer Harry stepped back. Eyes a bit wider than usual and some fear in them. Dean was about to call out to him but before he got the chance there was a loud 'pop' noise.

"HARRY!" Dean yelled.

Nothing but silence answered his cries.

* * *

><p>For those who are Naruto fan I have another account, most of them there are anime fics, Oni-Hime-San is the name of the account, and I wrote a pretty successful story called "Ever After"<p>

Reason I'm mentioning this is because every author has some sort of pitch that make their work appeal to others. My talent just so happens to be adding good and unexpected twist and turns. This one is a bit more complicated because I am sort of just going with the flow on this...I just open up a document page and start to write...eventually the chapter gets done and I'm satisfied with it.

But yeah...No Ginny and No Draco. Too over used...

And as you can see I really didn't add too much of Bobby...it might be the same for Cas so I might add a witch or wizard in with Cas' chapter.

I've seen how many people have favorite this story and how many have this on alert. A LOT! So please...fuel my addiction with reviews. Its a fact that the more and longer review an author gets with a story the sooner they update...at least its a fact for me. Make my day with a review, hell even give me something to add, and I'll have the next chapter up ASAP!


	5. Invisible In Plain Sight

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Suspense/Drama

**Rating**: T

**Pairing**: Viktor/Harry(Friendship... /?)

**Summary**: On his way back from Bobby's Harry gets a strong attack of nostalgia, and it quickly turns into a panic attack. What the hell did he get himself into? What the hell happened to him? Even as he looked at Dean Harry couldn't help his actions. He was trapped, and he would continued to be trapped unless...he ran. Like he had done before when he ran for the sake of the war...this time though, he ran for the sake of his sanity.

**Chapter Name:** Invisible In Plain Sight

* * *

><p>After apparating Harry stumbled a bit. He had gotten used to the feeling, but with the emotions that he was feeling beforehand...well let him just state that all the three D's weren't there. He <em>was<em> determined to get away, but he really didn't have a destination in mind, nor did he think he had any deliberation either.

He had no idea what the hell came over him. He had been fine leaving Bobby's place. Great even. He was glad to have seen the man again and to know that he had a true friend there...

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe he was making friends that meant the same as...as his mates back in Britain.

Harry had left abruptly, without notice, no note, and hasn't made contact since. He hadn't meant to do that, it was just that with what the ministry was planning on doing with him Harry just thought it'd be better to drop off the grid. For the sake of the wizarding world that was barely rebuilding itself after what Voldemort had done, and just like he had done in the war, for the sake of his love ones, he had disappeared.

They all probably thought that he was dead after years of no communication at all...well, he was sure almost all of them did.

Ron and Hermione though...

They grew up with him. They knew what he was capable of and they knew what went on in his own mind better than himself. He was willing to bet all of the money that he had in Gringots that they still believed...no, they _knew_, he was still out there.

And now more than ever he was tempted to go to them.

But he couldn't. There was something going on. It could be just his paranoia, but after years of being chased and attacked Harry's learned to trust his instincts. And right now they are warning him that there was a storm in the horizon. What it would bring Harry didn't know. Another reason he wanted to get away from his friends was because he got this odd feeling...like it wasn't over. _What_ exactly, again Harry wasn't sure.

It seemed personal somehow.

"Harry Potter?"

Harry's head shot up and his eyes opened wide with Panic. He had apperated into an alley and then began to walk. Not paying attention to where he had landed or where he was going. People just kept passing him by. Where the hell was he? And who had called him?

Looking up as a tall and strongly built figure approached him Harry gasped in shock, "Viktor?"

Viktor frowned at the English wizard and then grabbed his arm, tight enough to actually drag Harry, but not so much that it would leave any mark later. They walked a few blocks in silence before they arrived at an empty park.

"Vat are you doing here Harry?" Viktor asked.

"I...I dunno," Harry replied, still a bit shocked to see a familiar, yet not, face.

"Are you alright?" Viktor asked.

"Yes...no...I dunno. I just apperated and to be honest I don't know where I am," Harry whispered.

"You are in muggle London," Viktor informed him, his accent still very present.

"Muggle London?" Harry repeated and then asked, "Wait...What are _you_ doing in muggle London?"

"I liff here now Harry," Viktor said as they found a bench once they were deep enough into the park.

"You live...in muggle London?" Harry asked as he looked at the Bulgarian wizard curiously.

"It is a bit odd, is it not?" Viktor asked. Harry nodded but waited for an explanation. Seeing Harry's face Viktor said, "I retired but not a lot of people vere happy vith that. They expected me to continue to play Quidditch but I just could not any longer."

"Why not? You were brilliant!" Harry exclaimed.

Viktor chuckled, which caused Harry to blush, he was acting like a fan and being a somewhat celebrity he knew how annoying that could be. "Sorry," Harry whispered.

"No no, it is alright. Even though I luff'd Quidditch, it vas getting harder for me. After da tournament I vas still out of it for avhile, and vhen I got back to da game it vasn't the same. I got injured a few times and falling from such heights is not pleasant," Viktor explained and Harry nodded in understanding. He knew how terrifying it was to fall from his broom, and Viktor being a pro it was much much higher.

"You may understand considering you yourself vere a player, but others do not. They see me as immortal. As if I vill not brake. Vell, after a nasty fall and hurting my back I decided it vas time for me to retire. I vas over thirty anyvay, so vhy not?" Viktor said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'm guessing not a lot of fans were pleased?" Harry asked.

Viktor shook his head, "No. Vhich is vhy I now live in muggle London. During the visit to your school I very much enjoyed your land. I vould have stayed in the vizard part but too many people vould recognize me. This vay I can valk the streets vithout vorrying about being seen and bothered."

Harry nodded again in understanding. Then Viktor took a minute to look at Harry very closely. Harry felt something like being under a microscope.

"Vhere have you been? Last I have heard...you vere dead. I did not believe it, but that vas vhat vas being said," Viktor told him.

"That because...I faked my death," Harry replied.

Viktor nodded. Harry didn't say anything and neither did Viktor.

"Vould you like to talk about it?" Viktor said.

"I don't want to be out in the open any longer. If I really am back in London..." Harry said and Viktor nodded.

"Ve can go to my flat. No von is there," Viktor said and they walked to Viktor's apartment. Harry pulling up his hood, even though they were in the muggle part of London, he didn't want to risk it. Once inside Viktor offered Harry something to drink.

Harry asked for some tea.

After magically summoning some glasses and waiting for the tea to brew, which made Harry feel nostalgic about being around another wizard he knew after years of practically being alone, they stayed quiet.

When he was about half way done with his tea, Harry put it down and looked like he wanted to say something but just couldn't find the right words.

"Da ministry was being unreasonable, yes?" Viktor asked.

"How did you know?" Harry asked.

"I may not have been in such as position such as yourself, but I do know about politics. You vould be surprised at how much professional Quidditch involves politics," Viktor said.

Harry nodded and suddenly it was like a dam broke and Harry spilled everything, "After the war with Voldemort things were surreal. I just couldn't believe that it was over. I spent most of my life fighting an evil that chose me as his one true enemy. Not to mention that the people I had come to know and love...some of them were dead, and others weren't the same...nothing was the same anymore. But after the rush of it all finally went away and we all realized that it was finally over...we thought we could have settled down now. Do the normal thing for once. Me and my friends would become aurors, me and Ron would probably work in the field, Hermione, well she could have worked on the field or in the office and, hell, maybe work her way up to minister of magic herself! The point is...it was getting better, normal.

"But then the ministry started making 'surprise visits', checking my wand for magic activity, and having private healers looking into my magical core...it was unnerving. They also never told us why they were doing it to me, and only me.

"Finally not standing it I decided to take matters into my own hands. I did some sneaking around and asked a few people who knew things...that other people didn't normally know. After the war, finding that sort of information was easy..." Harry said with a dry chuckle.

"Vhat did you learn?" Viktor asked with a raised brow, completely serious, interested, and sincere.

"The ministry was keeping a close eye on me and my magical activity," Harry answered.

"Vhy?" Viktor asked but already had a hunch.

Harry gave another humorless laugh and replied, "It wasn't the first time I heard this. After I first saw Voldemort rise in the tournament people had been in complete denial and started to bash me with saying things like 'there could only be one dark wizard' and other bullock like that. Actually," Harry put on a thoughtful face, "This was all started in my second year. See, when Voldemort first attacked me when I was one years old, some of his powers were transferred to me, and so was the ability to speak to snakes. That caused me hell during my second year. They were all saying things like the only reason I defeated the son of a bitch was because I didn't want another dark wizard on my turf. People thought...think, I want to be the next dark wizard..."

"But you are not. You are da reason most of those vizards can now sleep soundly at night. How dare they think such stupidities? !" Viktor cried.

Harry shrugged, "I dunno. But it got highly annoying after a point that I just couldn't take it anymore. It was too soon after losing some of my closest friends, after the place I practically considered home was used as a battle ground, and...my purpose in life now being gone...the harassment I got from them too much."

"Vhich is vhen you decided to fake your death?" Viktor guessed.

"Yes..." Harry replied.

They sat in another silence after that. Harry allowing Viktor to sink it all in and he himself let it sink in as well. Over the years he's never actually said it out loud. It was always this shadow in the back of his mind that he tried to keep behind bars. It was always too painful because he knew that his actions had been permanent. He couldn't change what he had done and it pained him to think that he could never see his friends again. It'd be too big a risk, but damn if he wasn't tempted. Especially right now. Sitting before Viktor brought back memories of his fourth year, what he had to overcome, what he saw, and then also Bill's wedding...both events when he had met with the Bulgarian Wizard that were both magical events, but also life changing.

"They never believed you vere dead, you know. Not even now I think," Viktor said quietly.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"Who else, Harry? Herm-own-ninny, and Veasely, and everyone else. They do not belief you are dead," Viktor said.

Harry shook his head, "I made sure it looked like I was dead. I even left a body behind and everything."

"They are your friends Harry. They know vhat you are capable of. They are hurt very much of not being able to see you, but after surviving your greatest enemy...they do not belief you vould surrender...it is not your vay," Viktor said.

"How do you know what they think Viktor?" Harry asked as he picked up his tea again.

"I visit the Veasley household regularly. Fleur and I are still good friends. As well is Herm-own-ninny, and her family. Ronnald has finally stopped glaring at me vith such hate now that him and Herm-own-ninny are married vith beautiful children. They talk about you very fondly and they miss you. They vish you vould return..." Viktor said.

Tears couldn't hold back at hearing everything from Viktor's lips. "I miss them too Viktor...Merlin, I miss them all so much...but I'm not ready to return...I...god I need them, but...I can't Viktor I can't!"

Pure instinct told Viktor to go and hug the younger wizard, and hold him tight. Harry didn't argue or struggle, he just gave in and hugged Viktor tight. He needed the support. Dean had been great, but there was something missing, maybe he needed a fellow Wizard to feel like he was truly safe...like he truly belonged somewhere. Dean did his best, but even Dean was a pariah amongst humans. Viktor was human, and a wizard. He had been a celebrity of sorts and the focus of the media who didn't care for his personal space, something they both understood.

Viktor was a link to the world he was all but forced to leave, without being a direct bridge to his old life. For now, Viktor will be the seems that will keep him from falling apart...for now.

* * *

><p>Sam drove like a madman towards Lisa's house after getting a phone call from a somewhat freaked out Dean. When he arrived there he saw Dean's truck in the front and the Impala in the drive way with his older brother leaning against the drivers seat, arms crossed, and scowl placed firmly on his face.<p>

"Dean?" Sam asked as he approached his brother.

Dean looked up to meet Sam's gaze and said, "Sam..."

"What's wrong?" Sam asked though if he had to guess, it had something to do with Harry...god he hoped it wasn't.

"He's gone, Sam," Dean said.

"Who?" it was a stupid question, Sam knew that, but he still asked.

"Harry...he apperated when he got home...I have no idea where he is," Dean replied.

Sam's legs decided that because of the news they couldn't support him anymore and he had to use the Impala to keep standing. His chest clench in pain and worry. If Harry was as unstable as he was guilty, then Harry was in trouble. He could be anywhere in the world! If he was still in the US then he could run into anything supernatural and be servilely hurt. Or he could be anywhere around the world and face creatures that neither he or Dean have ever encountered.

"Get a hold of yourself Sam," Dean said as he helped his brother steady himself.

"But Dean...he's gone. He's teleported himself to who knows where!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean didn't say anything for a long while that Sam had to look at him to make sure he was still there, "Dean?"

"Your right...Harry has the power to go anywhere around the world he wants...he could be anywhere..." Dean was murmuring to himself. But it was the kind of murmuring that let Sam know that he was planning something.

"Dean?"

"Fire with fire..." Dean whispered so low Sam almost didn't hear him.

"What?"

"Sam!" Dean grabbed Sam by his shoulders, "All we need to do is fight fire with fire!"

"How are we supposed to do that, Dean? !" Sam demanded.

Dean let go of Sam's shoulders and yelled to the sky, "CAS!"

The brothers waited, then there was a gust of wind and the sound of a coat flapping in the wind. They turned around as stared at the normal stoic face of Castiel.

"Sam. Dean." the angel of the lord addressed the Winchesters.

"Cas, we need your help!" Dean said.

"Is it about Harry?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah, we need to find him. He's apperated," Sam said and gained a glare from Castiel.

"I am not surprised after what happened," Castiel answered quite rudely towards Sam.

"Cas...not now. Can you find him?" Dean asked.

Castiel looked at Dean and sighed, "Unlike you two I am capable of locating Harry's magical core if I look hard enough..."

"Great! We need you to take us to him...or at least me," Dean said.

Sam looked over with a look of betrayal and hurt in his eyes, but he blinked it away.

"I can not do that Dean." Castiel said calmly.

"Cas! Harry is out there and he's not okay. He needs to be supervised and tended to...if not...he could..." Dean left that sentence hanging.

"I understand why you are worried Dean. However I cannot take you to him at the moment. He...he needs this moment that he is having," Castiel said.

"What moment?" Sam asked.

"Harry _is_ healing. It's an extensive process, but it is happening. There are several stages and this is one of them," Castiel explained.

"So Harry is gonna be alright?" Dean asked with hope deep in his voice.

Castiel glared one more time at Sam and then soften his gaze at Dean and said, "Eventually. But there is something that I must do in order for his healing to continue at the rate is has been if not faster."

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"I must show you two what Harry has been through...what he's over come...and what he's left behind..."

* * *

><p>It was so easy to write Castiel's dislike for Sam. I didn't think it was too off from the time that Sam was soulless in the series.<p>

That being said...I apologize if there appears to be no direct time line...there really isn't one I think. I've been trying to put a direct place but...I don't really know. I mean it can be season 6, except that its a bit AU. So...yeah, because you all know how like in the episode 6X6 "You can't handle the truth" Dean still talked to Lisa even while being on the road with Sam...and then the whole thing in 6X21 "Let it Bleed" epic...uh, sorry lost my train of thought, so yeah, no real time line, so sorry if that bothers you.

Special Note!

**Awake at 3:06 In The Morning!**

It is another supernatural story with the whole Sam/Harry relationship with Dean sort of being in the middle. Its very similar to my story but the different. Less...**_dark_** I suppose.

Do not think that someone else is ripping me off...Well at least not in this case. If there is someone else who seems to be using my idea or my style, please inform me.

But this case...it is me! I have four accounts on fan fiction. Confusing? Yes. But what happened was that while I was talking to my friend about my story, she fell in love with it when she read it, its actually because of her nagging that I made it longer, and she kept on saying "oh you should do this you should do that!" but if I added all of her suggestions it would be too unreal and...I hate those stories who magically solve everything by just...waving a magical wand and making everything better...I mean if Harry Potter couldn't do it then neither can I.

But yeah, I am co-writing Awake at 3:06 In The Morning! Its very similar to this one, except a bit...I don't think happier is the word, but Harry isn't as broken as it is here. Also Sam didn't cheat on Harry in the other one...they had been in a "dry spell" if you will.

* * *

><p>Just so you know, these are my accounts and the type of stories I have. Though I mostly write slashyaoi I also mostly write drama that concentrates around family.

Feel free to go on them and read, and please review to any stories you read.

**User Name:** Oni-Hime-San  
><em>Categories<em>: mostly Naruto stories. Yami No Mastuei and Gravitation.

**User Name:** Like-A-Ghost-That-Isn't-There  
><em>Categories<em>: Naruto, Percy Jackson, Gravitation, Psych, Supernatural, Twilight, and Criminal Minds.

**User Name:** Experiment 2637452  
><em>Categories<em>: Naruto and Supernatural

and this one!

**User Name:** Luna Knyte  
><em>categories<em>: Naruto, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Harry Potter, and Psych.

So...Please read and review!

And kudos to _PolaroidPen_ and _kirallie_ who spotted the similarities between the two stories. Hoping you guys keep an eye out for that sort of stuff for me, haha. and you know, good eye.


	6. Into The Rabbit Hole Of Memories

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Suspense/Drama

**Rating**: T

**Warnings/Spoilers:** If you've read books and seen the movies of Harry Potter you shouldn't really get any spoilers. Mostly there will be snippets of Harry's life. Little bits of each movie, not sure which memory I'll pick or how accurate they are so...please excuse them

**Summary**: After disappearing from their sight, Dean and Sam call Castiel for his help in finding Harry before any harm comes to him in his state. However Castiel gives the Winchester brothers news that's both good and bad. Good because they know that Harry is healing, bad because...well, they don't know, but their about to find out.

**Chapter Name: **Into the Rabbit Hole of Memories

* * *

><p><em><strong>Then<strong>_

"So Harry is gonna be alright?" Dean asked with hope deep in his voice.

Castiel glared one more time at Sam and then soften his gaze at Dean and said, "Eventually. But there is something that I must do in order for his healing to continue at the rate is has been if not faster."

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"I must show you two what Harry has been through...what he's over come...and what he's left behind..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Now<strong>_

Castiel grabbed hold of Sam and Dean's shoulders and they teleported away. When they arrived to wherever Castiel had brought them they stumbled a bit in their landing not being used to it like the angel.

The place that they stumbled into was an old office. It looked old and very unused if the cobwebs were any indication. The walls were lined with shelves of books. Every single spot was filled and there were even more books in piles all over the room. Near the window with the one cracked panel there was a giant wooden desk with an easy chair behind it, all covered in layers of dust. A small pile of books with leather bindings rested near the right hand corner of the desk. Old looking paper, and ink bottle, and a quill were in front of the chair and at the ready, though neither Dean or Sam thought any of them would be used any time soon. Next to the quill was what looked like a crystal ball. Near the door that looked ancient and rusty was a big trunk with the initials _A.D._ on it. There were more mysterious objects around the room, some the brothers knew, others they could guess, and some...they hadn't the slightest idea.

"Where are we Cas?" Dean asked.

"We are in a house that belonged to a very powerful and kind old man. He was in charge of keeping Harry safe in his younger years. Even though he was limited with what he could do, it kept Harry alive," Castiel said.

"You keep using past tense. Does that mean that he's dead?" Sam asked.

Castiel nodded and replied, "When Harry was sixteen and Death Eaters attacked his school. It was the final steps leading to the end of the war. It changed Harry magnificently as well as hurt him. He saw Albus as a great mentor and great beacon of goodness...not to mention a security blanket. Harry was a child through the war and was expected, even by the adults and authority figures, to be a great warrior and hold just as much responsibility. The fate of his world was basically placed on his shoulders. Harry honorably faced all the challenges that were placed before him, but knowing in the back of his mind that someone like Albus was there to back him up helped his confidence greatly. In addition it was Albus that kept Harry away from the ministry's clutches."

"Alright...but, uh, why are we here? And where is here?" Dean asked.

"In a place in West England called Godric's Hollow. Its a community known for being home to many wizards. Harry and his parents lived here at one time," Castiel explained.

"Really?" Sam asked.

Nodding Castiel said, "Yes. This place held very strong protection and was used as their safe house after Lily discovered that she was pregnant."

"Lily?" Dean asked.

"Harry's mother. His fathers name was James," Castiel said.

"So he took his fathers name when he arrived to America...What else can you tell us about them, Cas?" Dean asked.

"Lily was a muggle born. The first in her family to be gifted with magical ability and be born with a magical core. She met Harry's father, James, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, same school Harry attended for six years. James was a pure blood with a long line of family history. All of the Potters have a reputation of being anything but...average," Castiel explained.

"Is that a good thing?" Sam asked.

"I would say so. As reckless as some of them could be it was mainly because every Potter obtains a severe case of heroism...it's almost a complex for them. They're powerful, witty, and intelligent. Also before the war their Christmas parties were known to be...unforgettable." Castiel said.

"Wow...Harry's history sounds way better than ours," Dean said.

"You said you were going to show us who he was and everything about his life, right Cas?" Sam asked.

"Yes. I believe it is needed," Castiel said.

"Alright, so get talking," Dean said.

"I think it would be better if you saw it first hand rather than just merely telling you," Castiel said.

"You're going to take us back in time?" Dean asked since he's already had it happen to him before, though time travel was...not his favorite past time.

"No. Its too complicated and there would be too much to show you for the power I have. Instead we will be using this," Castiel pointed to what looked like a bird bath.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Its called a Pensive. Its used by wizards to look into memories. Physically jumping into a memory and seeing every aspect of it in a different way as to just trying to remember it. Its very efficient. And similar as to how the police of your time would investigate a crime scene. Normally it would require the actual memory to be extracted from the mind of a person there, but since I am not a wizard I can conjure the memory either way," Castiel said and a vile with something stringy and silver appeared in his hand.

"This is the first memory of many...I must advice you that what you may see may not be pleasant considering how close you are with Harry...or have a human conscious for that matter," The angel of the lord said lightly, except for the last part. In which after years of befriending Dean, the boys knew that it was meant to be taken as a humorless joke. Which didn't make them feel any better.

Castiel poured the contents of the vile and suddenly they weren't in the dusty old office anymore but in the doorway to a nicely kept home.

"Where...?" Dean began but was stopped when a woman that looked like the idea house wife in 1950's America with her fitted pink dress, white pearls, and white apron, appeared from a doorway. She went to the cupboard under the stairs. She unlocked it from the outside and slammed on it with her hand and hissed, "Get up! Get up already!" and went back into the kitchen.

Then a chubby boy in a red sweater raced down the stairs laughing, stopped in the middle and stomped on the stairs and yelled, "Get up cousin! We're going to the zoo!" then ran down the rest of the stairs as the cupboard opened to reveal a scrawny little boy, who was then pushed harshly back into the cupboard, door slammed in his face, by the other boy who went into the next room to be greeted by that woman with a, "There he is, the birthday boy!"

Sam and Dean stared in awe as the boy stood up and exited the cupboard again. Upon further inspection it was obvious who it was. Shaggy black hair, piercing green eyes behind round glasses, and pale skin.

"Harry..." Sam said.

"He LIVED in a _cupboard_!" Dean exclaimed.

"Yes, lets go into the kitchen, shall we?" Castiel asked as he walked through the door.

Sam and Dean looked at each other uneasily but followed the angel anyway. In the kitchen they saw a whole bunch of gifts, it was like Santa Claus himself made a personal visit to the nicest boy in the world...which should have been Harry. Who was flipping food.

"Oh don't you look wonderful Duddy," the woman said as she pinched the other boys cheek.

"Yes, you'll enjoy Smeltings. Fine school, very fine," a big fat man with a mustache said.

Young Harry looked over to the boy with a frown, "Will I have to wear that?"

His voice was so high and young it made Sam and Dean smile for a bit, until they heard the people there laugh at him. Then the big fat man said, "You? Attend Smeltings? Hahaha...as if they'll accept riffraff like you! Ha!"

"As a child Harry was bright and very intelligent, but his aunt and uncle favoring their son degraded Harry in every way they could. Even in school. Harry wasn't allowed to score higher marks than his cousin or he'd be punished, and if he scored too low, he'd also be punished..." Castiel informed.

"Even though you're somehow related to us, that won't be enough, unlike my Dudders," the woman said as she cooed her son. Then walked over to a big boiling pan and using tongs pulled out rags of some sort, "This will be your uniform once I finish dying it."

"But that's Dudley's old uniform! It'll be too big!" Harry protested.

"Be quiet and bring me my coffee boy!" the fat man ordered.

Harry scowled but bit his tongue and did what he was told. "Yes, Unlce Vernon."

The other boy picked up one of the many gift but unlike any other child who would be delighted to have so many, scowled and demanded in anger, "How many are there?"

"Thirty-six, counted them me self," the fat man said with pride.

The boys face blazed red as he yelled at his father, "THIRTY-SIX? BUT LAST YEAR! LAST YEAR I HAD THRITY-SEVEN!"

"Yes, yes, but some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year..." the fat man stuttered.

"I don't care how big they are!" the boy yelled.

The woman quickly went to her son's side and reassured him, "Don't worry honey. On the way home from the zoo we'll stop and pick up two more presents, alright?"

The boy huffed but nodded.

"You can't be serious...this was what Harry had to put up with?" Dean demanded.

"No...these are some of the better times," Castiel answered which caused weird looks from the brothers. The angel then waved his hand and they were outside as the family boarded a van, all but Harry dressed as if they were meeting the Queen of England.

Harry was dragged roughly by his uncle before he could get in, slammed against the door, closing it, and his uncle pointed the car keys menacingly in Harry's face and hissed, "Be careful boy...any funny business, any at all, and you'll go a week without eating...am I clear?"

Harry glared at the man and gave a stiff nod.

"The main reason Harry is so thin wasn't because of the life style he took during the war. Well, its partly the reason. The bigger reason however was that his uncle and aunts threats weren't always just threats. Reason Harry eats so much when he can is because he's been trying for years to gain some of the body weight he's supposed to have. When he first started Hogwarts he couldn't eat too much because his stomach just wasn't used to eating all that food." Castiel explained.

The scene changed and they were in a zoo inside the reptile house. They saw Harry and his..._family_ in front of a snake tank. The boy was slamming his fist on the glass wanting to make it move.

"Make him move!" his cousin yelled.

"Move!" Harry's uncle yelled.

"He's asleep!" Harry hissed.

"He's boring," his cousin said and went away, followed by his parents.

"Sorry about him. He doesn't understand how its like. Lying there day after day watching people press their ugly faces in on you." the snake's head rose up and Harry's eyes widened, "Can you _hear_ me?" the snake nodded. "Its just...I've never talked to snake before. Do you...I mean, do you talk to people often?" the snake shook his head. Sam and Dean found it kind of cute. It was very weird but, cute. "Your from the wild aren't you. Was it nice there? Do you miss your family?" Harry asked and the snake pointed to the wall which said 'bred in captivity'. "I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents either..." Harry said sadly.

His cousin then came and harshly pushed Harry away, and he fell to the floor. Dudley presses his hands and face against the glass only for it to disappear, after Harry glared at it. Dudley fell in and the snake slithered out. While everyone else ran and screamed Harry just stared on with wide eyes. The snake stopped before Harry and said, "Thanksssssss"

"Any time..." Harry replied breathless. The snake then slithered away, scaring anyone it could with glee!

When his aunt caught sight of her son behind the glass freaking out, she too began to freak out. Harry found that extremely funny and laughed, but the laugh died when he saw his uncle glare at him and he gulped.

When they arrived him Dudley was wrapped in a very warm blanket being shh'ed and cooed by his mother while the fat man manhandled Harry and shoved him into the house, then painfully grabbed Harry by his hair, dragged him by it, and demanded, "What happened?"

"I don't know I swear! One minute the glass was the and then it was gone! It was like magic!" Harry cried.

His uncle all but threw him into the cupboard, locked it, and into the vent hissed, "There's no such thing as magic!" and then shut the vent.

Dean and Sam clenched their fist. Sure they didn't have the nicest or happiest memories, Dean had troubles, and Sam had had bullies, but home was safe. Home was fun and happy...this was hell. And Dean would know...

The memory continued and they saw how owl after owl arrived trying to give Harry his acceptance letter. After being driven mad by the amazing quantity, the fat man moved them out to a power in the middle of the sea. And it was storming like hell outside.

While the three of the family members were asleep, the fat man and woman upstairs on the only bed, the fat kid on the couch, Harry lay on the floor. He looked so small at that age...speaking of age, with his thin little index finger Harry drew himself a birthday cake with 'Happy Birthday Harry' written on it.

Looking into his cousin's watch, Harry waited for it to to beep. Once it did Harry whispered, "Happy birthday...make a wish, Harry..." and with that blew out his dirt drawn candles.

"Every year he wished for the same thing. To have a family that actually loved him or to at least have known them," Castiel said solemnly.

Watching the scene before them, a lump reached both of their throats and their eyes itched with upcoming tears.

The door then banged, and banged again. Harry quickly went to hide behind the wall, the fat man came down with a shotgun in his hands, his wife behind him. Through the door came a giant...literally!

"That's Hagrid. He's a good friend of Harry's who loves magical creatures. Owns a three headed dog, Fluffly. He's half giant half wizard." Castiel explained, a bit of a grin on him. He rather liked Hagrid for what he's done for Harry.

The brothers had no comment, so they just decided to watch the memory. They saw how Harry got his very first gift...EVER! The smile on Harry's face was breathtaking, it made the brothers smile, and butterflies to move in Sam's stomach.

After a loud discussion about Harry's parents, background, and future education the giant, Hagrid, got up to leave.

"Well look at the time, I've got to run. You coming? Or are you staying?" Hagrid asked Harry. Hagrid walked out of the door and Harry looked from the door to his family that was freaking over the pig tail his cousin now had(which Sam and Dean both snickered at), with a look of determination Harry grabbed his long sleeved shirt and followed Hagrid out the door, without looking back.

(A/N:I got very lazy to write the rest of the memories...sorry. But if it inspires you, you can just re-watch all the movies! I know I will! XD)

The boys watched as Harry got sorted into his house, defeated the troll, survived his detention(the boys thought the detention they got with their creepy teachers was bad!), made friends, received presents for the first time and had his first real holidays like Christmas, Halloween, and Easter. They saw him become fly and become a even more of a hero, and then watched him and his friends defeat evil.

When Hagrid gave him his photo album and he boarded the train the memory ended but they were placed into another one. Harry getting an actual room, still treated like crap, but not as severely. Meeting that annoying house elf that got him in trouble with his family, escaping with the help from his best friend and brothers, flying a magical car, being attacked by a tree, detention again, the attacks, the giant spider, the goofy teacher, transforming into someone else for information, and fighting the giant snake, being poisoned, being saved by an actual Phoenix, and freeing the house elf that tried in a weird way to save him.

The Harry hit a bit of a growth spurt, they watched as Harry was forced to take insult after insult to him, his parents, and his pride by that fat bitch of his uncles sister. And they also saw how he blew her up like a blimp, they saw him run away, the ride on the Night Bus, The Leaky Cauldron, the attack on the train, obtaining the Marauders map, hearing about a killer that turned in his parents, finding out said man is your god father, new teacher being a werewolf, finding out the real(literally) rat to be Peter, almost being killed by Dementors, time traveling, saving a griffin, and getting a new broom.

They saw the next three years. The fourth being the rise of Harry's nemesis, the tournament, someone trying to kill Harry and having everyone against him, the ball, the challenges, fighting a dragon, mermaids, having his own best friend against him and being a toy for the media. And continuing into his fifth year when even after Harry's warning, everyone kept in denial, and made him a pariah. Being placed on trial and trying extensively hard to make him guilty. Harry's old friends and new friends like Luna Lovegood, organizing the DA, and going to the ministry for the battle. Losing his godfather and the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort, Voldemort possessing Harry only to have Harry over power the dark wizard. His sixth year even more dark. Leaning about his upcoming mission to completely stop the dark wizard, new feelings for the redheaded girl, the new teacher and learning more about himself, the people he thought he knew, and more dark secrets than he ever wanted to know. And then Dumbledore being killed at the end...

Surprisingly the last memory was the one that passed like a montage. Perhaps it was Castiel's doing. They say the three teenagers planning, the wedding, the running, the hiding, the fighting, being capture, tortured, escaping, more running, and more fighting until the final battle. Harry obtaining all of the Deadly Hallows and becoming the Master of Death, dying, and coming back to defeat the dark one once and for all...

Harry's school was rubble and destruction all over, but after hours there was now silence. Murmurs here and there as people looked for wounded and helped them out. As the sun rose on a new day, everyone dwelled in the silence that came after it. The memory faded.

Once again they stood in the old dusty office, both of them having a million questions to ask the angel about their wizard.

"Cas? Do you have more to do with Harry than we know about?" Sam asked the angel.

Castiel took a moment before he replied, "Yes. Harry...was one of my charges for some time."

"Then how the hell could you have let him suffered so much? What kind of guardian angel are you?" Dean demanded.

"I was supposed to make sure he didn't die. I was not allowed to interfere anymore than that," Castiel gritted out. He hated that he was limited back then.

"If you couldn't do anything, then why were you even assigned to him?" Dean asked.

"You, Dean, refer to it as that destiny crap. I was in charge of you and Harry. Two of the most prophetic people since the biblical times. And as sad as it may be to anyone, I was in charge of the boy who lost his faith," Cas pointed towards Dean and then pointed to a picture frame on the desk they hadn't noticed before. A picture of a black haired man with round glasses, a red headed woman, and a very cute baby, "And the boy who never had any..."

* * *

><p>Sorry about the shortness. Its one of those stepping stone chapters. I wanted to update before the 4th of July. Might update again afterward. Anyway...Now that the boys know more about Harry, they're passing the point of no return. Meaning...? I can't remember. I had the perfect, deep explanation, but I can't remember...I hate it when that happens.<p>

But I left it in a place that should be a good place to start for the next chapter. Again sorry about just summarizing the Harry Potter books and if they're incorrect...well of course the 7th one is, but any of the others.

Please excuse any errors. I've updated without really rereading. In a rush...

Please review


	7. Finding Him

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Suspense/Drama

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: As Castiel and Dean go off to find Harry, Sam stays behind and does some serious thinking. Its become very obvious that the Sam he is right now is not only hurting Harry, but Dean as well. If things will ever go back to what used to be normal for all of them, Sam needs to find that part of him that Harry fell for in the first place.

**Chapter Name: **Finding Him**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Sam walked around his neighborhood, had been doing so since dawn. He had been dropped off after his little trip down Harry's memory lane episode a few hours ago. Castiel had said that if he really concentrated he would be able to find Harry, but it'd take time because Harry was very careful when it came to hiding. Whatever little trace Castiel had on Harry's magical core has also disappeared which meant that Harry was somewhere that had very good wards, or something else that neither he or Dean understood.<p>

By noon Sam found himself sitting alone on a bench in the middle of the nearby park. It was peaceful and empty. The only other living thing that Sam could see were the ducks on the pond across from him.

"You look like shit."

Sam tore his gaze away from the pond and looked to the side to see Ben carrying his soccer ball.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" Sam asked in a monotone voice.

"Its a teacher development day. We got to leave after half the day was over," Ben replied as he stood next to Sam.

"Then you should head home. Your mom will worry," Sam said in the same voice, turning his gaze back to the pond.

"I told her I'd head to the park with my team to practice for awhile. Where 's Dean?" Ben asked.

"Him and Cas are looking for Harry..." Sam replied.

"You didn't go?" Ben asked as he finally sat down next to Sam.

"No, I did not." Sam said.

"Why?" Ben asked.

Sam snorted, "You're smart kid, I think you know why."

"Harry could be in danger. No matter what happened between you two I would think you would want to at least look for him," Ben said.

Sam was still staring at the pond as a mother duck led her ducklings across it. "I...me and Dean learned a lot of Harry's past yesterday. I knew I didn't really know a lot about who Harry was, just like he didn't really know who I was..."

"But?" Ben coaxed.

"But as much as I tried to hide every fault I had Harry saw them...and I never saw his. And from everything I learned yesterday...I've had it easy compared to him and I've only seen glimpses of his life, " Sam said.

"Have you tried asking?" Ben asked.

"No. We all had an unspoken agreement to not pry into each others lives...they were not something any of us really wanted to acknowledge," Sam answered.

"You should have tried anyway...you two were together. How could you expect your relationship to go anywhere if you were complete strangers to one another?" Ben asked.

"If we were normal then maybe. But our lives have consisted of very little to be proud of...All I needed to know was that I could trust him, and I could. With my life, and Dean's life as well. The past didn't matter so long as there was a future to work towards," Sam replied.

"Harry once said something similar. When he was home I asked him how could he be with someone like you, and he said that he didn't really have an answer to it. All he said was that it was all about progress. That the darkened past didn't matter so long as the future remained bright..."Sam smiled at Harry's words. When he wanted to, which was mostly when they were alone behind closed doors, he'd be a total romantic.

Silence befell them. Neither looked at the other. Sam continued to look at the pond and the family of ducks while Ben stared at the soccer ball on his lap.

"I hate you, you know?" it was more of a statement than a question.

"I would assume so," Sam whispered.

"At first it was just a dislike but then it just grew. This is what it finally took to actually hate you...I at first didn't like you because you took Dean away from me and mom. Then I hated you because you took Harry away from us too. It seemed that every one that was added to our family...someone that I really could trust and care for...cared more about you then they did about us. I was jealous...it was always 'Sammy this and Sammy that'..." Ben ranted.

"You came all this way just to tell me this?" Sam asked as he interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them as his elbows supported his arms.

"Yes, but I'm not done. I may be jealous because you mean a lot to both Dean and Harry, but they still love me and mom. They are awesome guys who care far too much for the safety of others than their own..." Ben took a deep breath, still looking anywhere but Sam, "You've heard the expression 'If you love someone you have to let them go'?"

"Yes," Sam replied.

"Well, that's what I had to do with both Dean and Harry...I let them go so they could be happy. With you. And they were for awhile..." Finally Ben got the courage to look at Sam, and Sam was surprised at the emotions behind the kid's eyes. "They both care and love Sammy. Sammy was the guy Dean would die for and Sammy was the one Harry wanted to spend the rest of his life with...At some point you hurt them both. Me and mom and I'm sure that Bobby and Cas want to help but really, there's only one person who can fix this. It really sucks to say that but that's the ultimatum we have, fix this or let them suffer. But Sam...you really need to find Sammy. He's the only one who can fix this."

Ben then stood up without another word and left Sam in his thoughts.

Sam hadn't moved from his place since Ben left. Without really paying attention, Sam continued to watch the duck family from his place. It wasn't until the sun began to set that the duck family swam away to their home. With a final glance at the pond, Sam did the same. He had something to do...

* * *

><p>Symbolism of a duck: Ducks can elude their enemies in many ways, either by flying, running, swimming or diving for cover; therefore, they are a symbol for a resourceful person.<p>

Symbolism of a pond: Ponds usually refer to your own personal emotions. They show you are thinking deeply and reflecting on your own moods.

* * *

><p>After hours of searching and looking for Harry, Castiel suddenly grabbed Dean(in the middle of a busy streets mind you) and teleported away.<p>

"Cas! We could have been seen!" Dean cried.

"It was a human town but that was the wizarding district. They're used to it," Castiel answered.

Dean looked around and noticed that they had landed in a relatively normal looking street. Normal looking people going about their day, children playing games, and old people sitting on their porches.

"Where are we?" Dean asked.

"Number twelve Grimmauld Place," Castiel answered.

"And this is _where_ exactly?" Dean asked.

"During the war against the dark wizard there was an order that stood against him and his followers. Harry's parents and their friends were the first generation. Some of them were still alive to join the second one, but most of it were Harry and his friends. This was their headquarters...also the Black family home," Castiel waved his hand and suddenly the building began to expand, though no one else seemed to noticed.

"Are they all used to _this_ too?" Dean asked as he took a step back.

"No. This place is heavily guarded with wards. Both against wizards and muggles. They neither see nor feel anything," Castiel said.

"You said this place belonged to who?" Dean asked as they made their way up the stairs. When they did though a spirit formed from down the hallway and rushed at them. Dean instantly reached for his gun but Castiel said, "I did not kill you Albus." and the spirit disappeared.

"What the hell was that? !" Dean demanded.

"A form of protection. War is a very complicated thing Dean. Often people would trade sides, and after Albus' death the order had to be careful about who they accepted help or information from and also be careful as to what they allowed to get out." Castiel explained.

"Still doesn't explain the ghost," Dean said.

"Not necessarily a ghost Dean. Its just a manifestation that will attack anyone who isn't welcomed inside of this place," Castiel said.

"Oh...is anyone here?" Dean asked.

"The house elf who originally served the Black family might be somewhere around here, but other than that, no. No one's come here after a few years. Too...too many...too many memories," Castiel answered.

"Bad memories?" Dean guessed.

"It is complicated. There were many happy memories here at one time. This place was a safe haven...at a time that safety was gone, and at the loss of safety some bad feeling grew. For Harry this place was bittersweet. This place was his home away from Hogwarts, but after Sirius Black died...it was never the same. It became much more lonely.

"After the war some of the members who survived tried making this place usable again, but it was all in vain. This place was inherited by Harry and after _he_ disappeared it seemed like they were intruding," Castiel said and Dean nodded.

"Why are _we_ here though?" Dean asked.

"Harry will be here soon," Castiel said as he ventured further into the building.

"How do you know?" Dean wondered.

"Before he traveled to America Harry had to leave a few things behind. Things that mean too much to destroy, but things he could not carry with him on the run. He saved them here because he knew that one day he'd return...he'll be here," Castiel promised.

Silence filled the room. Castiel just stood by the window and stared off into the distance. Dean on the other hand looked around.

"Hey Cas?" Dean asked.

"Yes Dean?"

"You said that he's healing...that he _will_ be okay..." Dean started.

"Yes... ?"

"You said that he needed a moment...he's not alone, is he Cas?"

"...No," Castiel answered.

Dean placed one hand on his hip and the other rubbed his faces as he tried to sort out everything in his mind.

"Will it cause trouble for us?"

* * *

><p>Sam walked down the streets until he reached a jewelery store that didn't really stand out as a jewelery store. It was family owned and it was one of those places you only hear about in children stories. After about an hour and a half of him wondering around the owner, an old lady with a kind smile, approached him.<p>

"Anything I can help you with dear?" she asked.

"I uh...I want a gift. It'll be a gift for...for someone very special to me," Sam replied.

"Oh, then we need to find something specific. A gift needs to be special. Especially if it holds great meaning and comes from the heart," the old lady said with a smile that reached her eyes.

"Yes, well...me and this person...we've had some rough times...we broke up and I really want them to know how much I'm sorry and love them..." Sam tried to explain.

"Well did you have something in mind?" the old lady asked.

"Um...yeah, I did. I want...wanted to get a star. Sirius to be exact. And...have a green stone in it," Sam explained.

"Hm...it might take some time but I have a friend who can do wonders," she replied.

"Really?"

"Yes. Its very rare to think of a blacksmith, but that's what he considers himself as," the old lady said.

"A blacksmith?" Sam asked.

"I know, silly isn't it?" the lady giggled.

"A tiny bit...but um, I have a silver chain...can your friend melt that and make it into the star? And place the gem in the center?" Sam asked.

"Why of course. But are you sure dear?"

"Yes...completely."

"Alright. I'll need the chain and your information sweety." The old lady went behind the counter and took out a pad and a pen, then looked up and asked, "So, what's your name?"

"Sa-Sammy...Sammy Winchester."

* * *

><p>Just have to say...I went to the <strong><em>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II<em>** midnight premiere...IT WAS _THE_ AWESOMEST MOVIE **EVER**! and I saw it in 3D and my 3D glasses were shaped like Harry's! it was sooo AAAHH! I cried so much!

on another note...some people really want Loki to be in this story. I'm saying this now and nothing is going to change this, this is Sam/Harry story. I'm not going to make it easy for Sam because what's happened isn't easily forgiven, but it will be happen. It won't be all lovey dovey, it will be realistic, but we're only on chapter 7, there is plenty more to come. But I do wish to add Loki, even if only for a chapter or two.

I know that he's a prankster and I know that his attitude is immature, but that he's conflicted between the natural order of things and the way things were actually working out...so if I do add him I think I'm going to need more information about him. so...please review and give me your perception of Loki. I'll gather all of the common variables and hopefully add him soon.

Please review and check out and review "Awake at 3:06 In the Morning"


	8. Never Again

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Suspense/Drama

**Rating**: M

**Summary**: As Sam continues to look for the Sammy that he used to be something plagues him. Its not something he's ever encountered before. It's something supernatural, but not completely evil. It appears to be torturing Sam on Harry's behalf. At the same time Dean and Cas confront Harry himself.

**Chapter Name:** Never Again

* * *

><p>AN: This song is called _Never Again_, and it's by _Nickelback_. This is one of the inspirations for this fic, and I wanted to do something for it.

* * *

><p>Sam sat at his kitchen table and admired the necklace that he had gotten Harry. He didn't know too much about Harry's life but he knew a little about Sirius, and knew how much he meant to Harry. He was probably the closest thing Harry ever had to a loving family member. The green gem in the center would remind Sam of Harry's eyes, but Harry of his mothers eyes.<p>

Sam smiled.

It will still be a very long time before everything got back to how it used to be in the beginning. He knew that perfectly, but thankfully there was hope for him yet. He wanted to fix this, more than he ever wanted anything in the world. More than he wanted a family, more than finding peace, and more than he could ever want normality.

He's accepted that weird was a part of his life. He's accepted that it will always be there. He's accepted that he will probably never get married or have any kids, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try and get Harry back! With Harry there it didn't matter how weird things got or how bad the enemy was...so long as Harry was there, everything would be alright. Harry always made things alright.

"And you always took him for granted anyway!"

Sam jumped out of his seat and reached for the gun that laid next to the table. When he spun around he saw a shadow like spirit floating in the air. Sam growled and shot at it, but the bullets when right through it. He grabbed a sawed off shot gun from the cabinets and fired again, but the shells full of rock salt didn't do any affect either.

"Stupid hunter...stay away from Harry Potter!" the thing yelled.

"How do you know Harry?" Sam demanded.

The thing laughed, it sounded like a woman, and then it materialized into a woman in her twenties with fiery red hair and pale skin. "How can I not recognize my own little baby boy?...the one you _abused_! And _dehumanized_! And _**hurt**_!"

The ghost woman raised her arm and aimed at Sam and a powerful gust bombarded Sam with the coldest wind he's ever felt.

"You don't even remember some of the worst nights, do you? Of course not, you were drunk off your arse!"

Suddenly Sam wasn't in his kitchen, he was in one of their old apartments. Sam stumbled and then tried to get his composure. Once he was standing straight he saw Harry on the couch with his face in his hands and shoulders shaking. He hadn't seen Harry in such a long time, seeing him again was...overwhelming. Tears made his eyes sting as he took a step closer to the dark haired wizard.

"Harry?"

Harry didn't respond.

"Harry?" Sam tried again as he stepped even closer to the raven. When he tried to touch Harry's shoulder, but his hand went right through him.

"What the hell?" Sam muttered to himself.

The redheaded woman appeared again with her arms crossed over her chest as she smirked at Sam, "You little peace of rubbish...I'm going to show you exactly what kind of _monster_ you were to my Harry."

"What are you talking about you crazy bitch?" Sam demanded as he glared at her.

"Just watch ducky." said with a Scottish accent.

The door's lock clicked, opened and then closed. Harry raised his head and wiped his tears and stood up. Another Sam entered the room.

"You're home," Harry's voice was flat.

_(A/N: to avoid confusion the vision Sam will be Sam, while the real Sam will be Sammy)_

"What the hell you doing so late?" Sam slurred.

Harry crossed his arms and wrinkled his nose as he inspected Sam. Sammy did the same. As he looked at himself he realized that he was seriously drunk by the words he just spoke, and that he was covered in blood. Not like when a hunt goes bad, but more of a bar fight. Which made perfect sense in explaining the alcohol. What it didn't explain was how Sammy couldn't remember this.

"I was waiting for you to get home," Harry replied, anger filling his voice now.

"I don't fucking need a babysitter," Sam spat as he moved more into the room, only to trip against the coffee table.

"Yeah, you're obviously Mr. coordinated aren't you?" Harry asked sarcastically as he moved closer to help Sam.

Sam however shoved Harry away with so much force that Harry landed on his butt.

"Get 'way from meh, you witch! It's your fault...you and your magic! If you evil sons bitches didn't xist...Dean'll be here and not hell!...my mom be here too! And my dad wouldn't think of me like...of you!" Sam slurred as he tried to get back up.

"Sam you're drunk," though Sammy could see how much those words hurt Harry even if Harry himself tried to be indifferent about it, "Lets just get you to bed alright?"

"NO! I SAID DON'T TOUCH ME!" Sam swung and landed Harry in the face.

_He's drunk again  
>It's time to fight<br>She must have done something wrong tonight  
>The living room becomes a boxing ring<br>It's time to run when you see him..._

_Clenching his hands  
>She's just a woman<br>Never again_

Sam towered over Harry's form on the ground. His hands clenched at his sides, eyes narrowed, and lips frowning in a snare.

Harry touched the spot that Sam had hit him with his own hand and looked up at Sam and Sammy saw fear in Harry's eyes that he wished he hadn't.

Sam picks Harry up with a fist clenching around the front of Harry's shirt. He brings Harry up to his face and hisses, "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do?"

"Sam...let me go," Harry said and tried to pry Sam's hand off of his shirt, but all that did was cause Sam to punch him again.

Once on the floor in the fetal position Sam kicks Harry with all his might in his abdomen.

_I hear her scream from down the hall  
>Amazing she can even talk at all<br>She cries to me  
>Go back to bed<br>I'm terrified that she'll wind up  
>Dead in his hands<br>_

"STOP SAM! YOUR HURTING ME!" Harry screamed.

"SHUT UP!" Sam yelled back. He then picked Harry up but the neck and squeezed. Harry trying to yell but it didn't last long as he tried to breathe in the hold he was in.

Sammy looked on with horror and tears in his eyes. He didn't remember this, but he remembered vaguely what happened afterward. He knew they had conflicts before. He knew he and Harry had had a lot of verbal yet nasty fights. He knew there was a few times where he might have pushed him or where Harry had hexed him...but this...

_She's just a woman  
>But never again<br>Been there before  
>But not like this<br>Seen it before  
>But not like this<br>Never before  
>Have I ever seen it this bad<br>She's just a woman  
>Never again<em>

The beating continued after a minute Sam let Harry go. When Sam demanded something of Harry and Harry didn't respond, Sam sobered up a little. He tried to get Harry to wake up but he wouldn't. Harry's face turning blue and purple, although he was already red and very pale.

Sammy had waterfalls falling from his eyes as he saw Harry limp and motionless on the ground, and knowing he was the cause of it.

Sam picks Harry up and and takes him to the hospital.

_Just tell the nurse you slipped and fell  
>It starts to sting as it starts to swell<br>She looks at you  
>She wants the truth<br>It's right out there in the waiting room_

_With those hands_

_Lookin' just as sweet as he can..._

The scene changed and Sammy was now in a hospital room. Harry was lying in one of the beds. He was just as pale and his face was swelling and blue and purple. When Harry wakes up the nurse is there and begins to question him.

"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked kindly and very gentle like.

"I got in a fight at a bar..." Harry whispered. It was somewhat difficult with the swelling.

She gives him a small sad pity smile and then looks out the window on Harry's door and looks directly at Sam and then back at Harry, "Sweety...I'm not here to judge, I'm here to help you...but I can only do that if you tell me the truth."

"What do you mean? I told you...I got in a fight at a bar," Harry repeated.

"Then why don't you smell like smoke or alcohol? Or have anything in your system?" she again looked over to Sam, and made sure Harry saw where she was looking at. She then looked at him again.

Harry saw who she was looking at and he tried to smile, but it was hard with his bruises to look convincing, "I went to pick up my lover who was too drunk to drive. When I got there he got a bit lovey dovey and some other homophobic jerks decided to give us a Christian welcome...while he fought some, others out numbered me...I'm not as much of a fighter as he is..."

The nurse looked sadly at him but kept her gentle smile of her face nonetheless. She then said, "You look like a very sweet and loving young man...please be careful and remember...no one deserves to be hurt." she walked out after giving Harry some pain meds.

Harry then apperated out of the hospital and went back home. He didn't care if Sam followed. Those words that the nurse had said made him really think. He went to the bathroom and drank some potions he had there and used some of the simple basic healing magic he knew. He was all healed up by the time Sam showed up at their place...neither said a word to the other._  
><em>

_Never again  
>Seen it before<br>But not like this_  
><em>Been there before<em>  
><em>But not like this<em>  
><em>Never before<em>  
><em>Have I ever seen it this bad<em>  
><em>She's just a woman<em>  
><em>Never again<em>  
><em>Never again<em>

_Father's a name you haven't earned yet_  
><em>You're just a child with a temper<em>  
><em>Haven't you heard, don't hit a lady<em>  
><em>Kickin' your ass would be a pleasure<em>

After what happened the last time Harry didn't like being alone with Sam anymore. He was starting to doubt their relationship...or if there was even one. But he didn't like thinking of it so he spent a lot of time with Bobby. He used the excuse that Sam didn't like the idea of him hunting but he couldn't just lay around the house and do nothing, so if he couldn't be out in the field he could at least be behind a book.

That worked most of the time, but Bobby wasn't stupid. And Sammy knew that. He remembered very well the time Bobby all but lashed out on him and kicked his ass and threatened to shoot him.

_Oh  
>Ohh<br>He's drunk again it's time to fight  
>Same old shit just on a different night<br>She grabs the gun  
>She's had enough<br>Tonight she'll find out  
>How fucking tough <em>

_Is this man  
>Pulls the trigger fast as she can<em>

Sammy remembered this time though. He had been drinking, and not just alcohol. The whole scene in front of him was fuzzy but he was smart enough to know what happened.

He had let it slip that he and Ruby had sex and Harry got mad and started yelling at him. Being drunk with alcohol and high on demon blood Sam didn't take it too well and fought with Harry.

Something in Harry's eyes changed. Neither Sam or Sammy could tell what it was but all he knew was that Harry grabbed his wand and pointed it at Sam. That surprised him. Before he could utter a single word Harry blasted him with a spell.

_Never again_  
><em>Seen it before<em>  
><em>But not like this<em>  
><em>Been there before<em>  
><em>But not like this<em>  
><em>Never before<em>  
><em>Have I ever seen it this bad<em>  
><em>She's just a woman<em>

_Never again_  
><em>Seen it before<em>  
><em>But not like this<em>  
><em>Been there before<em>  
><em>But not like this<em>  
><em>Never before<em>  
><em>Have I ever seen it this bad<em>

_She's just a woman_  
><em>Never again<em>  
><em>Never again<em>  
><em>Never again<em>  
><em>Never again<em>

Sammy watched as the scene changed yet again. They were back in their old apartment with Harry sitting on the edge of the bed. It was afternoon outside but everything seemed quiet. Sammy looked at the calender and realized this was a few days before he had returned to home from the hunt to find out that Harry had left.

Harry was looking at his hands that lay limp on his lap. His gaze was far away. Then he stood up and walked around the room. He stopped at the doorway and took out his wand.

"Pack." Harry deadpanned.

All of his belongings magically moved and packed themselves in his trunk. Harry flicked his wand and his trunk disappeared. Then he walked down the stairs and into the living room. There had only been a few pictures of them and any that had Harry in it were now resting in the fireplace. Along with them were some other things like a teddy bear Sam had won him at the carnival, a tee shirt with Dean and Harry on it, and a very rare book Sam had gotten for Harry.

Harry looked at all those objects without any emotions in his face and raised his wand.

"Harry...please don't," Sammy begged even though he knew Harry couldn't hear him.

"Incendio," Harry whispered and fire shot out of his wand and lit the fireplace. Harry stood there and watched the items burn as the flames reflected off of his glasses before he took one last glance around the apartment and apperated.

(A/N: Okay...Sammy is now Sam once again.)

Sam landed harshly back in his kitchen with a groan. As he stood up he grabbed his gun again and looked around. He found it strangely empty.

"Don't think that it is over Samuel Winchester! For what you've done to my Harry you'll get ten times worse!"

Suddenly all of the doors and windows slammed shut. The floor underneath Sam's feet became quicksand and a circle of fire appeared. As quickly as he was sinking was as fast as the fire was spreading.

Sam heard a clank noise of something falling on the floor. He looked and saw that it was Harry's present. He tried to reach for it but he couldn't reach it. The ghost thing appeared again and leaned down to grab the necklace.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Sam yelled.

"Hm...I think not. I think I'll just take this. Good bye, Samuel Winchester." the thing disappeared.

Sam continued to sink and he thought he was a real goner but once he was completely under it all disappeared. Sam was breathless but otherwise fine. He looked around the room for any clue as to what that could have been but found none. He did the only thing he could think of to do.

"CAS!"

* * *

><p>Dean and Castiel had been in Grimmauld Place for hours without so much as a noise and Dean was getting bored.<p>

"Cas are you sure Harry's coming?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Yes he will be here. I cannot tell when exactly because he is trying very hard to hide from me, as well that the wards protecting his place are also very powerful. But he will be here. We just have to be patient," Castiel answered from his sitting position on the couch.

"So in other words you have no idea when he'll be back, just that he will?" Dean asked the angel.

"Pretty much," Castiel replied.

"Great...fucking great. Do they at least have a TV around here or something?" Dean asked.

"This is a magic home Dean," Castiel said as if that answered Dean's question.

"So?"

"Electronics don't operate around magic Dean," Castiel tried again and Dean's jaw dropped.

"Really?"

"Yes. I thought Harry would have told you," Castiel said.

"He's told us of ways to cure wounds and hunt down monsters. Around the house kind of things usually aren't a part of the conversations," Dean replied. "Do they at least have any liquor?"

"Some fire whiskey I believe," Castiel went into another room and returned with a glass and a bottle and handed them to Dean.

Dean looked at it skeptically but decided to try it. When he drank it, it caused a burning sensation which caused him to drop the glass and fan his mouth, but it also...caused him to feel...courageous. When he could speak once again he pointed to the bottle and asked, "What the hell was that?"

"Fire whiskey. Wizards and witches drink it. Its a bit more intense then the regular human drink isn't it? Had an extra sensation," Castiel said with fascination that caused Dean a little worry.

Maybe Castiel becoming more human in the alcohol department wasn't a good idea. _Note to self:Don't bring Cas on any more drinking trips_. Dean thought to himself as he remembered the angels previous adventures when he gets depressed. He already saw what happened when Cas drank an entire liquor store, he didn't want to see what would happen if Cas drank a wizard one...

Dean was about to give Cas some of his infamous Dean Winchester advice when they heard a rustle from upstairs. They looked at each other and went to check it out.

Sure enough Harry was in stumbling on the stairs. Dean looked at Harry's eyes and anger rose in him as he saw how big his pupils were.

"Harry?" Castiel question.

"He's high Castiel. He's been using again," Dean said evenly.

"Whatta ya two doing here? You don't liff here...or do you?...I do!...don't I?" Harry said in a childish tone. "Oh! Did you come to sleep over? That'd be awesome!" then he pouted, "but I can't find my PJ's..."

Dean shook his head, "Come on Harry...lets go down stairs. We need to talk."

"Okie dokie..." Harry smiled and walked down stairs.

"What's wrong with him?" Castiel asked.

"When I found him he was high on some magic drug. After he seemed to get better so I didn't bring it up but I guess now I should have," Dean sighed.

"What does the drug do?" Castiel asked.

"I haven't seen it really at an early stage, just as it was getting out of his system. But from what Harry told me it takes him away from reality. Lets him forget for a while and takes him to his memories. I guess he replays them or something..." Dean replied.

"Do you want to see if I can clear it out of him faster?" Castiel asked.

"Can you?" Dean asked.

"I can try," Castiel said and Dean nodded.

They walked down stairs and saw Harry making rainbow bubbles with his wand. Castiel walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulders and then Harry fell unconscious. Castile caught him and with Dean's help they placed him on the couch.

"Did it work?" Dean asked.

"I felt the drug in his system. Its...odd. Its a magic on its own. Makes me uncomfortable to be honest, but its out of his system. When he wakes up he should be completely lucid," Castiel said.

Dean crossed his arms and his face harden.

"Good. We need to have a very long talk...this can't happen anymore. Never again."

Castiel didn't say anything so when Dean turned to look at him, the angel was gone.

* * *

><p>I've had a bit of a writers block with this story but I found some new idea's that I think will satisfy my readers<p>

As always please review

P.S. just wanted your opinion. By the way I write and the ideas that I have...do you guys think I'd make it as a professional writer? I mean, would you guys read a novel I'd write, based on what you've read?


	9. The Matter of Protecting

**Title**: Not Our Sammy

**Author**: Luna Knyte

**Genre**: Drama/Suspense

**Rating**: T

**Summary**: While Castiel is away helping Sam deal with the spirit that haunted him, Dean is at 12 Grimmauld Place awaiting for Harry to wake up and to give him some much needed answers.

* * *

><p>Recap:<p>

_Sam continued to sink and he thought he was a real goner but once he was completely under it all disappeared. Sam was breathless but otherwise fine. He looked around the room for any clue as to what that could have been but found none. He did the only thing he could think of to do._

_"CAS!"_

* * *

><p>Castiel appeared in Sam's apartment the moment he heard the younger Winchesters desperate and panicked prayer.<p>

When he arrived he found a flustered Sam leaning against the kitchen counter, holding on to it pretty tightly if Sam's white knuckles were any indication. Sam's eyes were closed and he seemed to be trying to get his breathing under control.

Tilting his head to the side, Castiel tried to sense what could have caused this. He knew from Dean that after the whole ordeal with Harry, and he himself showing the brothers Harry's past, Sam hasn't even thought about hunting in the least.

But as he stood in Sam's apartment he sensed something. It was a familiar feeling but he couldn't quite place what it was.

"Sam, are you okay?" Castiel asked.

"Uh...I don't know. Did Harry show up?" Sam asked as he finally opened his eyes to look at the angel.

"Yes. Dean and I were taking care of him when you called," Castiel replied.

"Good...good. He's safe with Dean," Sam whispered, mainly to himself.

"What happened here Sam? I sense something was in your apartment," Castiel told Sam.

"I don't know what it was Cas. It was like a spirit but my doors and windows are lined up with salt. The door frames are outlined with iron, and I shot at it with regular bullets and ones filled with salt. None of those things worked," Sam said.

"What did it do?" Castiel asked.

"It kind of did something similar to what you did when you showed us Harry's past. I was thrown back into...well they were memories but it wasn't either my point of view or Harry's. But I saw some of fights being played out, like an outsider looking in. It was horrible Cas...

"Then when the visions or memories or whatever they were ended I landed back here in the kitchen. That thing was pissed and warning me to stay away from Harry. The doors and windows and cabinets were all opening and closing because there was this odd wind, and then the ground under me turned to quicksand! If that wasn't enough there was a circle of fire surrounding me..." Sam retold his experience.

Castiel looked over Sam and frowned, "Despite that you seem...a bit manhandled,but you look alright."

"I'm confused about that too Cas. I was drowning in the quicksand as the fire spread and was getting closer to me when suddenly everything stopped and vanished! Everything was back in its place, nothing was moved or touched, and no traces of spirits or other weird supernatural activity..." Sam replied.

"Nothing at all?" Castiel asked.

Sam shook his head, "I double checked."

"You should have died then," Castiel simply said.

"I figured. Do you know why I didn't though?" Sam asked.

"After everything I wouldn't be surprised if it was your Winchester stubbornness that kept you alive. Never in all my existence have I met more stubborn humans than you and Dean, but I doubt that's an actual reason..." Castiel said.

Sam looked at the angel with an amazed face. Did the angel just try to make a joke?

"Uh..." Sam didn't know how to respond to that.

"Hm...Sam come here," Castiel ordered.

Considering he wasn't the angels favorite human, Sam didn't bother hesitating and just did was he was told. Castiel placed two fingers on Sam's temple and closed his eyes. Sam did too, mostly out of nervousness. The younger Winchester felt a breeze pass by which caused him to open his eyes. He knew to double check that his windows be closed, there shouldn't have been a wind.

"Interesting," Castiel murmured.

"What's interesting?" Sam asked.

"Those markings," Castiel replied.

Sam was about to ask what the hell the angel was talking about when he looked down at himself and he saw said markings. They were intricate lines mixed with what looked like some ruins.

"What are these?" Sam wondered aloud.

"Protections symbols. Very ancient and very powerful ones," Castiel said.

"How did I get them? Where...when?" Sam was dumbfounded.

"It's quite obvious isn't it?" Castiel said.

Sam raised an eye brow towards the angel. He didn't want to offend the angel seeing that he wasn't his favorite human, but Sam couldn't help but think it ironic that someone who was usually so oblivious could ask such a question.

Instead Sam said, "I don't see the obviousness here Cas."

"Harry did them. He's the only one who would know of ruins as old as these, and the only one who would know to do these markings correctly," Castiel answered.

"Harry did these?...what exactly are they?" Sam asked as he picked up the toaster and tried to look at as many of the markings as he could.

"Like I said they are very powerful forms of protection. Whatever attacked you left behind an ominous power signature. I doubt it would have killed you. I don't know how I can tell but there is an apparent anger...this thing wants revenge. I assume it wanted to maim not kill, but these ruins kept you safe from whatever damage that spell you seemed to have been under would have caused," Castiel explained.

"Why couldn't I see the ruins before? I don't remember Harry ever doing them," Sam said.

"Most likely Harry did it soon after he gain yours and Dean's trust. Harry is very protective about the people he cares about. I know the type of person he is, and if he came across something like these ruins then he'd use them. I'm willing to gamble that Dean, Bobby, and I suppose even Ben and Lisa have the same protection.

"As to when he did them...Well for you since you were in an intimate relationship I assume he would have waited until you were asleep. You wouldn't have noticed. The others, well, he would have done the same, waited until he saw an opportunity, most likely as they slept. Unlike markings you've seen done before, or like that anti possession tattoo you and Dean have, Harry could have done these with his wand. You would have never felt them," Castiel said.

"Still...wouldn't they be visible?" Sam asked.

"If they were normal perhaps, but since Harry did them with his magic they aren't visible to the human eye. I could see them, but they were blurry until I showed my grace," Castiel said.

"So these ruins are only visible when..."

"When they are needed. They are activated when they sense a threatening source of power. Hence when they activate they become visible," Castiel confirmed.

"Sam...what did this thing look like?" Castiel asked.

"Um..it was a woman. She was blurry but I could tell she was Caucasian and had red hair. Accent was definitely European. Between Scottish and English," Sam said.

Castiel nodded and turned away from Sam.

"What did it show you again?" Castiel said as he returned his gaze to Sam, who looked down in shame as he was bombarded with those memories again.

At first he had told himself that it was just a horrible joke. An illusion created by some evil sonofabitch who wanted to weaken him, but he knew better. Those were real memories.

"It...it showed me the monster I am...the monster I was to Harry. Memories I didn't remember...and what caused Harry to ultimately leave me," Sam whispered.

"We need to get back to Dean and Harry," Castiel said suddenly.

"Why?" Sam asked immediately alert.

"I'm not sure, but I'd feel better if all of us were there to watch over him. Even after the war there are still many people out there who want to hurt Harry. A part of one of many reasons Harry went to America was so he couldn't be followed. British wizards all but loath Americans in general. They wouldn't bother to chase Harry unless it was very personal," Castiel said solemnly.

"If someone is after Harry...why go after me?" Sam asked as he went over to the couch in the living room to pick up his jacket and go-bag.

"Harry had a reputation of caring greatly for people. I'm sure word got out about you. They'd try to use you as a means to get to Harry," Castiel said.

"But if that were true, why leave me behind to 'die'? Why not take me?" Sam asked.

"People talk Sam. Even more so when you're famous. Even here in the American wizarding community Harry is very famous. I'm sure people have seen him in his worse days. Word travels fast...

"It's possible that whoever sent the attack heard of your relationship and the break up. It would be useless to kidnap you now, but Harry would still care greatly for you. If he found out your dead, and manage to realize who did it, in a blind rage Harry would, metaphorically speaking, dive into the fire in a very weakened state."

"If that's true we need to warn Bobby and do something about Ben and Lisa," Sam said.

"Indeed, but at the moment we need to worry about Harry. When I left him and Dean...it wasn't the best situation," Castiel said as he grabbed Sam's arm. Unable to say anything else both of them teleported away.

* * *

><p>Harry groaned as he began to wake up.<p>

Urhg, what time was it? Hell, what _day_ was it?

"Do you want some water?"

That voice made Harry jump up a few feet into the air and sit up straight. A hand quickly rested on his shoulder and tried to calm him down.

"Harry...Harry it's okay. You're safe. I'm right here," Dean's voice soothed him greatly.

Harry focused his eyes to the dim lighting and realized he was in Grimmauld Place. He was in the living room resting on the couch while Dean was sitting next to him on a chair.

Dean placed a glass of water in front of Harry's face, his face stoic. Harry looked questionably at the glass before taking it and drinking from it.

"Feeling better?" Dean asked quietly.

Harry's lips pursed into a thin line before he nodded slowly. He couldn't look at Dean at the moment. He had been weak. He had let himself fall into temptation and into the darkness. Even after visiting Viktor it wasn't enough.

"Harry...it's okay. You're safe," Dean repeated.

A silence fell over them. With neither being able to find any words everything around them seemed to be louder. The ticking of the clocks hands on the far wall were louder. The gust of wind that brushed against the old window was louder and made the glass rattle. The house creaked and whined, letting the two of the occupants know that it was old.

"You're angry," Harry stated.

"No, I'm not," Dean said.

Harry shook his head a bit. Taking a deep breath be managed to raise his head and look at Dean in the eyes, "Yes, you are." Harry said softly.

"Okay I kind of am, but I don't _want_ to be mad at you. Not right now. You don't need this right now," Dean said.

Harry sighed and leaned back into the couch.

"You have every right to be mad at me, and even though I know I should say I'm sorry...the feeling isn't really there," Harry said.

Dean didn't respond right away but examined Harry more closely.

"Then tell me what feelings _are_ there Harry," Dean replied gently.

Hearing Dean be so calm and patient with him caused tears to swell up in his eyes. Why couldn't Dean be like everyone else in his life and just leave him when he messes up? Why did Dean have to be such a caring and devoted person who _actually_ cared! Why?

As the tears began to fall, Dean immediately stood from his seat and sat next to Harry. He wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulder and held him close while whispering, "Shh..."

"Why Dean?" Harry asked.

"Why what?" Dean asked in return.

"Why do you care so much? Why do I matter this much to you? I don't understand. I've been a burden to you for so long...I've messed up so many times...why don't you just give up on me?" Harry demanded quietly.

"Because Harry...you're family," Dean answered honestly and without any doubt.

"How can I be family? I've messed up and cause so much trouble..." Harry said miserably.

"Harry...in all my life I've learned many things. I've learned to lie, cheat, and steal. I've learned how to care for my car. And I've learned to not do the waitresses at those diners in the middle of nowhere, especially if she has a visible rash," Dean said with mirth to try to lessen the tension.

"Seriously though Harry...as a hunter I never had the 'normal' family. Growing up I always envied other people for what they had. A dad who came home every day, a mother who took care of the family, siblings who bickered but loved each other anyway...a home and stability...

"But a family can have all of that. It can have that two story house in the suburbs with the lavish green yard, the picket white fence, a spacious drive way, and even a golden retriever...but none of them have a bond as strong as the one me and Sammy and our dad had. Some of those people grow apart and don't really care or know each other.

"Me and Sammy...yeah we fight and we bicker, but there is no one I trust more with my life than him, and I know that we both would die for each other..." Dean scratched the back of his head, "I guess it was that dedication that started this whole mess huh?"

"That doesn't explain how I'm family," Harry said.

"I'm getting to that Harry," Dean said as he pushed some of Harry's unruly locks away from his forehead.

"When we first met...I was impressed at how well you handled yourself. Then I was a bit scared because I found out you were a wizard...

"Then I just got more comfortable around you. You were the first real friend I ever had that I wasn't related to or wasn't over forty. Then you kicked some serious ass and got approval from our dad and I was just so freaking amazed when you risked your life...your _life_, for ours. You made some of the wrinkles on Bobby's forehead disappear because he had gain access to a whole new boatload of information, had someone else to help look out for us, and he gained a new person he could trust, plus your cooking is freaking amazing! Then...you made Sammy happy.

"He was always...content. Satisfied with what we had but with you...he smiled and was happy and it was something that I could never give him. And since it was my job since I was four to take care of him I...I let you down by being selfish for Sammy. He was a spoil brat and because I refused to let Sammy suffer...you did," Dean apologize.

Harry removed himself from Dean's comforting hold to look at him, "Dean you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

"I know. But I'm the oldest...and more experienced. I should have been able to...to _do_ something!" Dean exclaimed.

"Dean...you are the least person capable of being blamed," Harry whispered.

Suddenly Dean stood up, "Harry you _don't_ understand! I _saw_ the signs. I _saw_ what was happening to you...I _saw_ what Sammy was becoming...but I was selfish. I wanted to keep my brother _and_ my best friend because I knew if I confronted either of you it would lead to you leaving or Sammy leaving...and I couldn't handle that Harry...I couldn't handle losing the few little things I _actually_ have...and that is so completely selfish and now _look_ at where we are!"

"Dean..."

"I let you down more than anyone else. As Sam's older brother I knew how to take care of him and he knew the protocol about situations being this delicate. His fear of disappointing me would have kept him on the straight and narrow. You...you needed me the most. You needed me to be strong for you. To keep you from falling off the deep end.

"So yes, I am angry! I am angry at you but I don't want to be because in the whole scheme of things you were hurt by me and Sammy so freaking bad...he hurt you and I let you get hurt! You just wanted the pain to end and this is where it took you. But damn it Harry! That doesn't excuse this! You can't just give into the temptation, you can't just let it control you. We are Team Free Will...We don't give up because we just can't Harry. Our fight will end when we die but I refuse to let you die, especially like this. When you die you are going to be old and happy and have everything you've ever wanted! but damn it just don't give in...

"If we'd given in...the world would have ended. So many people would have died..." Dean said.

"It's not easy Dean," Harry replied weakly.

Sitting back down next to Harry and holding him close again Dean said, "I know Harry. I know. But from now on this can't happen anymore. If you feel like it's too much and you can't handle it, talk to me. We'll get through this together somehow. I know you Harry...I do. You're family. You don't like to be a burden and the people in your life seem to have abandoned you when you needed them the most because they couldn't deal with your problems. Well I'm not them. I'm not going to leave you when you need me. I'm right here and I'm not leaving you... I'm going to help you through this, but you need to trust me, okay?"

More tears slid down Harry's face as he nodded furiously into Dean shirt as he hugged Dean tight. Dean was acting as his life line, and after those words, more than never, he needed to be reminded that there was something solid to hold him down to earth.

"Dean? Harry?"

Harry looked up from the nook of Dean's neck to stare with wide eyes at Sam and Castiel who had just walked in through the door. Seeing Sam for the first time in nearly a year was something Harry wasn't prepared for. Dean's plan about baby steps sounded so easy, but seeing Sam like this, right after using...he couldn't stop the small yelp as he dug his face back into Dean's chest in an attempt to hide from Sam's gaze.

"Cas! What the hell? !" Dean demanded.

* * *

><p>Not gonna lie...I am VERY tempted to write a DeanHarry in the future.

Um...please excuse any errors and, you know...Tell me what you think so far.


	10. In the Blood

**Author: **Luna Knyte

**Title:** Not Our Sammy

**Pairing: **Sam/Dean

**Rating: **M

**Summary:** With the ominous threat against Sam, the brothers have to reunite to find out that's going on but they also have to keep an eye on Harry. As they try to solve this problem as well as the obvious elephant in the room, will Dean's over protectiveness clash with Sam's jealousy?

**Genre: ** Angst/Drama

**Chapter 10:** In the Blood

* * *

><p>Harry still clutched to Dean's side with all of his might trying to become invisible to the new two comers. Dean could practically feel the fear his friend was feeling. With a sigh he picked up the ever thin Harry and carried him upstairs. Harry's reaction was enough for Sam and Castiel to not follow them upstairs. Though Dean could feel the glare to his back.<p>

He pushed that thought away. Harry needed him to be his rock. It unnerved him that someone Harry's age to be as light as Harry was. Even if the drug was magic and didn't have the same affects as human drugs did, Dean still feared for his friends health. Drugs usually took time to notice, even longer for someone who was completely healthy and fit. Harry might have tried to be healthy but that didn't mean that he was. The malnourishment he suffered in his childhood took major affects on his adult life. Add to the battles, war, and hunting he's done over the years...

Dean headed to the room with the initial _S.B _on the door. It was the room he had found Harry in and it was the only one in the whole house that seemed to be the most normal.

He placed Harry on the bed with the red covers and took a quick glance around. There were some posters of babes in bikinis, pictures of motorcycles, and little red flags with a lion on them. There was a picture on the drawer next to the bed. Dean picked it up and his eyes widened when he saw someone who looked a lot like Harry, only with brown eyes. A read headed woman was in his arms with a Christmas three in the background. And a little baby flying around on a small broom.

"That's me and my parents. My first Christmas...the only happy one in the first eleven years of my life. I don't remember it but I seem happy don't I?" Harry's voice broke Dean out of his thoughts.

"Those your folks?" Dean asked gently as he sat on the bed and shared the photo with Harry.

"Yeah. This is my godfather's bedroom. I used it temporarily as refuge during the war...It was the first time I saw this picture...I was seventeen. I left it here though...I didn't want anyone evil to get their hands on it if I were caught otherwise..." Harry whispered.

"I know what you mean...I have pics of me and my dad from before any of this started. I buried them with my mom though. I knew that after everything...she's the only one who could look after them," Dean said.

"And bare to look at it?" Harry said more than asked Dean's unfinished thought.

"Yeah..." Dean replied.

"I'm sorry I freaked out. The...the drug has me a bit jumpy," Harry said.

"It's not your fault Harry. After everything I've learned I don't blame you for being unprepared to see him. We had a strategy remember? Baby steps..." Dean said.

"Our plans never really work, do they?" Harry asked.

Dean gave a small chuckle, "No...with us Winchesters and Potters, plans aren't our forte. Our best bet is usually go in guns blazing and come out breathing...it's all we can do really."

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. But I'm going to find out. I'm going to talk with Sam. Cas will be here to keep you company," Dean said as he stood up.

"You mean to keep an eye on me," Harry said as he rolled over.

"That too," Dean said with a small smirk that grew when he saw Harry smile slightly too.

* * *

><p>As Dean descended the stairs he saw that Cas was talking with Sam. When he was in front of the both of them he quickly turned to Cas and asked, "What the hell? You disappear on me and then bring Sam? No offense Sammy."<p>

"None taken," Sam said but his frown said otherwise.

"Sam had called for me and he was in distress," Castiel replied.

"What happened?" Dean asked, big brother instincts settling in.

"Some sort of spirit attacked Sam at his apartment. It's nothing like I've ever felt before but oddly familiar..." Castiel said.

"It seemed like a ghost but it managed to get through my defenses and nothing worked against it. It sent me on a memory lane trip like Cas did the other day. Then it tried to kill me by making a quick sand pit in my kitchen and surrounding it by fire...and it stole the gift I had gotten for Harry," Sam explained.

"Cas got there in time?" Dean asked as he looked over Sam's body. That's when he realized the markings, "What the hell are those?"

"Protective markings. Done by Harry. They kept Sam alive and safe. Very intriguing," Castiel said.

"Why don't you go and ask Harry about them Cas. Keep an eye on him, make sure he's alright. But don't make him anymore jumpy then he already is. Okay Cas?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded and disappeared from the living room. A small silence engulfed the room as neither looked at the other.

"You and Harry seem to have gotten closer the more we're apart," Sam finally said.

"Jealous?" Dean asked, though he meant it with tease, Sam wasn't in the mood for Dean's schtick.

"Why? Why is it that you get it so much easier than me, huh?" Sam demanded as he pointed accusingly at Dean.

"Whoa there Sasquatch," Dean said as he raised his hands is a surrendering motion. "Where's all this coming from?"

"I...ever since the day I thought I'd lost him forever there was this...hurt inside of me that was constantly there. _Always_. Every damn little thing kept reminding me of him. And if you haven't notice Dean we live in a world were green is a _freaking_ common color! I...I couldn't help but see his eyes everywhere...full of hurt and fear and disappointment...I thought I'd lost him but then you found him and I thought...

"I was dumb enough to believe I could have another chance...but I don't do I?" Sam asked in a pitiful tone.

"Sam..." Dean was at a loss of words.

"But not you...you never lost him. He loved you..._still_ does! It's _you_ he calls, it's _you_ who makes him see reason, it's _you_ he apparently needs! Just like the freaking planet! I'm the freaking embodiment of evil...Lucifer's vessel after all, while you're Micheal's vessel! The prince of light and warrior of Heaven and ultimate Good! _Why_! Huh Dean? _Why_ is it that I can't have good things? _Why_ can't _I_ have Harry? Why can _you_?" Sam demanded.

"Sammy...I care for Harry because...because I think of him as a little _brother_. One who needed me...

"All my life I only had one real job. That was to be your older brother. The job was pretty damn simple. Make sure you were okay and that it stayed that way. I was to protect you from everything that was out there. When we were little it was easy. The monsters were easier to get rid of...when we became adults is when the shit really began. That's when I lost. When I _failed.._. Maybe it's a pride thing but when Harry came into our lives I saw it as _my_ second chance. That with Harry maybe I could succeed where I failed with you.

"What we have to realize here is that we have to put ourselves in check for a moment. This isn't about us. This is about Harry. He needs us right now...well, right now we need to find out what the hell attacked you," Dean said.

Sam let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hand, "Okay...yeah, you're right. Just...is he okay Dean?"

"Right now we need to think of what attacked you Sam," Dean replied.

"We're in a heavily protected house with an angel and the two of us...I think it can wait until morning. I really just want to know that he's okay...please Dean."

Dean sighed and said, "He...he's dealing with it. He's weak right now but...but we have to be there for him."

"How can I be there for him when he's terrified of me?" Sam asked an collapsed on the couch.

"Baby steps Sammy. Obviously I didn't intend for that to happen here but we'll have to make do, okay? I'm sure Harry could make it so our cell phones work in the house or if not we'll go outside. Take it easy for a bit. Then after a while if he's up to it, put you two in the same room. You won't look at him or talk to him but let him know that he can be in your presence without fear, without danger...We stopped the freaking apocalypse, there's no reason why we can't fix this okay? We're Winchesters...like the gun, remember Sammy?" Dean asked and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

Sam closed his eyes and breathed through his nose and nodded, "Like the gun..."

* * *

><p>Castiel appeared in Sirius' old room and watched over Harry silently. He knew that Dean didn't really care what happened so long as he kept Harry from going anywhere. When he arrived Harry's back was to him and he assumed he was asleep.<p>

"You lied to them...you could have found me if you wanted to," Harry whispered.

"Humans need time to process information, especially if it's emotional. You need to recover and I thought it would go faster if you didn't have either of Dean's or Samuel's presence to disturb you," Castiel replied.

"I'm not as strong as you assume I am Cas," Harry said as he turned over to look at the angel.

"I know you are strong Harry, you are just feeling betrayed and alone. Though I have to remind you that you are not. Whether you like it or not. Dean Winchester is your friend now, and until he's sure you are no longer alive, he will always look for you and most likely than not he will find you," Castiel said.

"How can you sound so sure that I'm strong Cas? I might have been but I've lost all of my strength," Harry said.

"Strength does disappear for a while but it always returns. It's all a matter of getting enough proteins and vitamins, but I doubt that was what you meant. If you meant it in a philosophical way then I have to argue with you," Castiel told the wizard.

"Really? Cas I used to be a hero to an entire world. I was a legend...a legend that was killed by the weight of the world crushing me. Now I'm a weak druggie with only a handful of people who even know I'm barely alive..." Harry whispered.

"You could have died many times Harry. There were many circumstances where your death was possible but you didn't die. There was no one helping you from Heaven and barely any help from the people around you and yet you made it far. It's in your blood to continue on Harry...whether you like it or not, you're a winner, a survivor at least." Castiel said.

"Death can't find me because my ancestor tricked him of his invisibility cloak you know," Harry said with a small tired smile.

Castiel smiled back, "You Potter's have a similar luck to the Winchesters but you also have something else."

"Yeah, what?" Harry asked.

"A witty arrogance that makes you desirable company," Castiel said with such as serious face but Harry knew it was meant to lighten the mood that he couldn't help it but laugh.

Harry was about to reply when there was an ominous chill in the room. He quickly stood from the bed and grabbed his wand.

"What is that?" Castiel asked.

"Dunno...but I don't like it. Nothing is suppose to get inside of here," Harry said as they exited Sirius' room and headed downstairs.

"Wait...Sam-" Castiel began.

"It's okay Cas...I wasn't ready before. I am now. It's like you said, I'm a survivor...a warrior. It's in my blood to keep going...I'm not going to let them get hurt. Especially not here..." Harry said.

"Harry?" Dean questioned.

"Something's here...I don't like it," Harry said as he looked at Dean with a serious expression. He closed his eyes, took in a breath and braced himself, and looked at Sam. If he could look into a Death Eater's face, into Voldemort's face, into the face of the dying...he could look into the eyes of his Ex.

"Is this what attacked me at my apartment Cas?" Sam asked as he tried to move back away from Harry, giving him some space.

"It's stronger but it seems to have the same signature," Castiel replied.

Dean and San loaded their guns and simultaneously they arranged themselves in a circling formation in the center of the room. Their backs to each other, all of them looking around, waiting for the attack.

Suddenly everything that seemed to be made of glass shattered, bitterly cold gust of wind blew all of them all over. There was a screeching noise that was followed by an explosion. The four of them were thrown once again. With the heat of the fire surrounding them and the buzzing in their ears from the explosion they were all disoriented.

There was a painful scream and Sam, Dean, and Castiel all looked towards the source and all they could do was yell, "HARRY!"

Through the flames and the smoke, they couldn't see him, but his pain filled screams told them one thing and that was the only thing that mattered: Harry needed them.

The trio found each other and were going to search for Harry when a static like figure appeared before them.

"I told you it wasn't over Samuel Winchester. There seems to be only one way to make your suffering last and Harry's to end...Though I'm sorry, you've caused this!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

"HARRY!" Dean yelled.

"It's too late Winchesters..." and it was gone.

Everything was quiet. The buzzing had left their ears. The soot was gone from their skin. All the glass was repaired. Everything broken in the explosion was fixed and in its proper place.

In the middle of the floor, too pale, too bloody, too small...was Harry's unconscious body.

* * *

><p>in my last chapter I said I was tempted to write a DeanHarry, I am, but in here Dean is Harry's best friend and older brother figure. That's not going to change.

With all my usual friends gone to college in other parts of the state and country I don't have any more interesting people to talk with, so since you guys obviously love Supernatural and Harry Potter and Fan ficition and if you wanna get to know the author of this crazy shit, hit me up on Face book(leave a message saying your a reader or something) to :**Amerika Mexiko Pulido**

Please review!


	11. Limbo

**Title:** Not Our Sammy

**Author: **Luna Knyte

**Genre: **Spiritual

**Pairing: **Harry

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **Whatever the thing was, whatever it did, Harry's stuck. He's in limbo and he has many things to mull over

**Chapter 11: **Limbo

* * *

><p>When people think about injuries and attacks they think that they are quick and then that's it. When people think about lasting intense pain they think of being tortured in a dungeon by some demented psychopath wearing an execution mask.<p>

The thing with pain however is that it has no reason. No logic, because that's what pain is. It's the breaking of understanding, the headache of seeing the information in front of you and just not being able to comprehend it.

Whatever struck him wasn't a weapon that Harry could identify. It felt as though something had stabbed him however. There wasn't a particular spot. As impossible as it should be, it felt like he was stabbed everywhere. Then it felt like the weapon had been removed slowly just to drag the pain. But even though there was no physical weapon or wound or bleeding for that matter, it still hurt.

It hurt _so_ much.

Harry wanted to cry out but couldn't find his voice. In his experience Harry doubted if it mattered. Just because he begged people to stop didn't mean that they would. The world just loved hurting him.

Harry didn't have a sense of time which bothered him. How long had he been there? Two minutes? Two hours? Two weeks? Two years?

It felt like it could have been years or seconds and it just felt confusing.

It was then that Harry realized that his eyes were closed...or it was very dark wherever he was. All he could tell at that moment was that he was in his mind. Or that was the only part of him that worked. Was he drugged? He didn't think so...unless they rushed him to the hospital and now he was under some heavy narcotics. Harry tried to get some control of him limbs but that was easier said that done, but he didn't give up. His flight or fight instincts fueling him, he continued. All his life those were what help him alive. They were what he learned to trust the most.

So after some more time, which Harry again couldn't tell if seconds or years had passed, he had finally registered every major part of his body. One aching head, two sore legs, two bruised arms, and an agonizing torso...he was in pain but in one piece. He was also disoriented...he felt weightless but the atmosphere was heavy.

Fighting with every ounce of Gryffindor strength that he had Harry opened his eyes and blinked rapidly.

It was so bright!

Having the falling sensation Harry rubbed his eyes and blinked some more.

When the world finally decided to sit still and allowed him to stand he looked an an overly white-toned New York Grand Central Station. There were some gold and silver but it was mostly all white like...just like the time he was killed by Voldemort and he opened his eyes and was at Kings Cross.

One second it was empty. No trains...no staff...no people.

Then there was a loud train whistle and suddenly there were all those things. People walking fast by him, trains stopping and then leaving, people wearing green vest with a skull logo over their hearts ushering people left and right and on trains.

"You have an odd concept of the means to get to the other side Mr. Potter."

Harry looked around for the sound of the voice. The only person sitting down in the whole place. It was an old man, wearing a tailored black suit, a cane at his side, and reading the New York Times.

"The first time you died I believe you arrived at Kings Cross, am I right?"

"Um...yes. But it was empty though...this...are all these people...?" Harry asked looking at the busy people going about, trying to find their place in line or their train.

"Dead? Yes. Heading towards where they should be going," the old man said turning a page in his paper.

Harry nodded and took a seat next to the man. Pain now gone completely. He sat there in silence until he couldn't help it anymore, "Who are you?"

"Death," the old man answered nonchalantly.

"Ah...of course. So I died then?" Harry asked.

"Not...exactly. Isn't surprising really, considering," Death said.

"By not exactly does that mean that I did die but I'll be going back to the living?" Harry asked.

"You do that a lot, this time is no different," Death replied.

"Doesn't that anger you? Can't you just make it so I stay dead?" Harry asked, curious rather than serious.

Death put aside his paper and asked Harry, "Do you want to stay dead?"

"I...I should have died a long time ago. It's not natural..." Harry said.

"No...no it isn't. There's an order that the world lives by and I am part of that order...everything must eventually die...everything. But the trick to that is time. And it's just not your time yet Harry. You have much left to do before you and I meet for the last time," Death said.

"I'm not sure if I can take anymore Death...I'm at my limit," Harry whispered.

"...You were perched on top of a pedestal in a middle of a stage for something that you didn't really do for all to see. You were watched by millions of people who praised you for just being human...because that's what humans do best Harry, they survive. But as the years passed all you did was get boasted higher and higher until you couldn't get off that pedestal anymore...at least not without dying...and that's what happened...you jumped off and died...on the inside of course. On the outside you kept on fighting. Like you were born to do..." Death said.

"So what? Just keep going, keep trying...I don't think I can do that," Harry said leaning back on the bench.

"You want my advice?" Death asked.

Harry looked sideways and nodded with a shrug.

"Quit hunting," Death said.

"What? I can't do that!" Harry argued.

"You'll keep finding the true horrors of this planet if you keep looking for them Harry," Death reasoned.

Harry sighed, "I know but...I can't leave those guys behind...They need m-...I need them..."

"I didn't say leave them, I said quit hunting. From what I know of your life...you never had a steady home...want a good start to a better life? Start there. Then make it work with your life now...I hear that some of these hunters are in desperate need of a Road House...the last one got blown up by demons."

"Why can I see people this time?" Harry decided to change the subject.

"Because of the whole Master of Death thing. Before you were just Harry Potter, the boy who lived, Voldemort's rival. There were people around then too, you just couldn't see them. Now that you've been granted the title of Master of Death you can see them," Death said.

"I broke the wand and lost the stone," Harry stated.

"But kept the cloak," Death said meaningfully.

"I...I don't understand," Harry replied.

"It's like a hearth Harry. Even if you get rid of a few burning logs, so long as there is one left...the fire still lives. Same with your powers...or what's left of them anyway," Death said.

"That meaning?" Harry asked.

"With all three of the objects you would practically be immortal...you'd be my boss, hence "Master of Death", but you have one of the three things that made you such. What I don't know for sure...practicality or sentiment?" Death asked.

"A little of both I guess. It's the last thing I have of my father and...it _does_ come in handy," Harry admitted.

"Yes...that ancestor of yours was clever in asking that of me. Interesting lot you Potters are," Death said.

"We don't disappoint," Harry replied with a forced grin. "But wait, what did you mean, 'what's left of them'?"

"You keeping the cloak, for whatever reason, gives you a percentage of Master of Death powers. Not the whole package...just a little bit," Death said.

"What part?" Harry asked.

"You kept the cloak," was all Death said and picked up his paper. Leaving Harry to figure it out.

Harry went from looking at Death to staring in front of him. He watched as people kept entering Grand Central Station. Old, young, sick, healthy, men, women, children...no one was safe from Death...no, no one was safe from being mortal. That was what it meant to be mortal. Be born, live your life, do your purpose, and then die. Being given life doesn't make you mortal, the ability to die does.

How many times has he died? When he was one in his parents home, at Voldemort's feet in the Forbidden Forest, fighting demons and ghost, revengeful Death Eaters, his own vices...this thing. But each time...he'd wake up again.

It wasn't that he couldn't die...

"_You kept the cloak."_

"You _couldn't_ find me...I'm _not_ immortal, just...you couldn't find me, or your reapers. I couldn't be sent to the next life," Harry said but then frowned, "I haven't been wearing my cloak though...I've had it stored in Sirius's room."

"Yes but what most people don't understand is that magic is alive. It's there! To be used, not hidden and stored. The magic from the Deathly Hallows as well...it was unused magic that found a master who needed them more than most. You have a knack for finding trouble Harry, the magic of those objects gets used a lot keeping you hidden, like the cloak was supposed to do, and then bringing you back, like the stone was supposed to do, and helping you fight back and winning, like the wand was supposed to do...they like the attention," Death explained.

"So...will I ever be able to die?" Harry asked.

"When you're ready," Death said simply with a turn of the page.

Harry's brow furrowed, "What does that mean?"

"Do you recall the story of your ancestor?" Death asked.

"Yes," Harry replied.

"Well there you go," Death answered.

"I don't understand," Harry said with a frown.

Death sighed, "When did I find you ancestor in the story the second time?"

Harry thought about the tale, "...After he lived his life. When he was old and there was nothing left for him to do. Then he passed the cloak down to his son. So that's it?...the magic of the Hallows will keep me hidden from you until I'm ready and have lived my life?"

"Bingo," Death replied a bit sarcastically.

"Wait...if it's worked this long...why are you here now?" Harry asked.

"You would've been in a coma otherwise. And...someone wanted to see you," Death replied.

"Who?" Harry asked.

"Their train should be pulling up right...now," Death nudged his head to the left.

The whole station was suddenly empty. One huge red train pulled up to the station. The conductor got out first and opened the door for the first class car.

Stepping out...

"Mom..." Harry's throat constricted.

"Hello sweetheart," Lily replied, her gaze soft.

"Everything went well I assume?" Death asked, walking up next to Harry. Then Harry ran to his mother and hugged her.

"Yes...Though James and Sirius stayed behind...I couldn't bring them here, they were too engrossed in..." Lily started.

"Beating the hell out of that damn trickster," another voice came from the train.

"Remus!" Harry cried and ran to the man.

"Yes...they were quite adamant about Gabriel seeing the errors of his way," Death said.

"Gabriel?" Harry asked.

Lily sighed, "Come on sweetie, let's sit."

They walked back to the bench and sat down. Lily on Harry's right and Remus on his left.

"Gabriel has been...for the lack of a better word, stalking you. For a long time now," Lily started.

"How long is a long time?" Harry asked.

"He was the one who first slipped you _Memorial Bliss _and has been alternating your mental reality to continue dosing you...nearly two years," Remus said.

Harry ducked his head and shook it, "No...I was weak...I kept going for more and I..."

"Oh sweetheart," Lily cooed and hugged her son.

"No, you weren't weak Harry. You were just emotionally drained. Your defenses were down and he took advantage of you," Remus said, rubbing Harry's shoulder reassuringly.

Harry shook his head harder, "I kept going towards my dealer and I gave in every time and...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry," Harry sobbed.

"Shh...there there...Harry...that's not the true story. This...this goes back so far, you'll be surprised," Lily said gently.

"Listen Harry...Gabriel saw the potential that comes with the Hallows. He knew what you've given up and knew what you had left. It wasn't much but if used _right_ it could make him the ace in the whole in any situation. But you were the sole 'Master of Death' and he couldn't just kill you. You can't die until you're ready. And only you and you alone could have these powers, but he could drain them out of you eventually. And if he were to drain you while in a momentary death state he'd get some power." Remus said.

"It became more troublesome when you associated yourself with the Winchesters and their angel. With them so close to you his chances were zip to none. He needed them out of the way. But the prove to be hard due to your romance with Sam," Death said.

"He took advantage of Dean's death. Took advantage of Sam's use of demon blood and lust for revenge on behalf of the person who meant so much to him growing up. Dean meaning so much to Sam...well his love for his brother was momentarily stronger than his love for you. But it was still Sam in there...deep down inside," Lily said gently with a small smile. "He really does care for you sweetheart."

"But...I don't understand," Harry confessed.

"We know Harry. And we don't expect you to. Whether what happened was real or not it _feels_ real...you _remember_ it to be. The emotions and feeling you felt during the time were very real to you and it's alright to be angry and upset. It's alright to _feel _Harry, but you can't let it get the best of you. From now on you can't escape your feelings. you have to face them head on no matter how hard it seems," Remus said.

"Explain it to me then...what actually happened?" Harry demanded.

Lily sighed, "It's not that everything you remember didn't happen love. A lot of it did. All those fights in alleys and underground basements...all those drinks that nearly killed you...all the overdoses...they actually happened. All the wounds, bruises, cuts...Loki started the domino effect and all of those horrible things followed."

"So...Sam actually..." Harry couldn't to this day say it.

"No...not that. He...he still has a bit of a temper. You actually did go face to face with him, or rather fist to fist. Both James and Sirius are quite vocal of their thoughts on your choice of mate but given the pretense of the situations...well," Remus answered.

Harry looked at them with owl like eyes. "You mean...?"

"It was all Loki's morbid imagination. It caused the fear and pain and distrust for Sam that Loki needed you to have. It caused you to get weaker and caused your shields to fall. It caused you to run away from them and be completely alone and vulnerable..." Remus said.

Lily squeezed him tight and whispered, "Love is a powerful thing sweetheart. My love for you kept you alive from Voldemort's killing curse that night all those years ago. It's that same power of love that kept Sam from doing something so vile to the one he loves."

Harry, barely being able to comprehend the information that he was getting, started to breath shallowly. He quickly stood up and rushed to the nearest trashcan. He was sick with relief. When there was nothing left to vomit he sat back down and allowed his mother and Remus to hug him as tight as they could.

"Wait...what happened? Back at the house I mean?" Harry asked.

"The Hallows are ancient ritual magic based. There' a full moon out tonight so that increased Loki's odds of obtaining the power of the Hallows. After you running away from the Winchesters and Castiel, Loki didn't think they'd be able to find you. He thought he had you right where he wanted, but then you returned to Number 12 and Castiel and Dean were there.

"He tried getting Sam since he was alone. With Sam hurt he thought Dean would have Castiel take him over there since the whole situation with you, he never thought they'd bring Sam to you. The way things were going it seemed like the Winchesters were going nowhere fast. He needed to act despite having some of the most stubborn hunters and angel there. He attacked, he's blamed Sam and is using his guilt to power some of him...not fully sure how," Death explained.

"Are they alright though?" Harry asked concerned.

"They're extremely worried. They've taken your body to the healer who found you after you OD'd. They don't know what's happened. You're in a comatose state at the moment, vitals are holding but you don't seem to be waking up any time soon. They have no idea what to give you to wake up. Not even Castiel's powers are working," Death answered.

"What do I do?" Harry asked.

"You'll wake up once you decide you're ready to go back," Death said.

"And Loki?" Harry asked.

"He was using my image to get at Sam. The nerve of him! Death had heard rumors of what Loki was up to and since he couldn't find you, he looked for Loki, and when he felt the trickster's presence at Grimmauld Place he knew this would happened. He gave all of us the power to come back and show that bloody git that you don't mess with the Marauders and their family!" Lily exclaimed.

"Though your parents and friends did show him his lesson he would have tried again," Death said.

"Would have?" Harry echoed.

Death put his two fingers on Harry's forehead, there was a blinding light, and then Harry felt a bit dizzy. "What was that?"

"Blood seal. Now you are the _only_ one capable of holding these powers Harry. Human or otherwise. If Loki or anyone else tries to get your powers they'll burn as if their soul had become a supernova," Death said.

"So...everything's better?" Harry deadpanned.

Lily hugged him and made him look at her, "First step towards better, Harry. There are many more. And I can't promise it won't be painful. But you're a Potter...I know you can do it."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out an emerald trinket on a silver chain. "This is yours. Sam got it for you."

"What is it?" Harry asked, accepting it.

"It's supposed to be the Sirius Dog star. A reminder of your godfather and it's emerald because it's a reminded of yours and your moms eyes. And we've all chipped in as well...it's a super powerful beyond the grave protection charm...with extra love," Remus said with one of his smiles.

"He still...actually loves me?" Harry whispered.

"He never stopped...it was just hard to see through all that hell and pain," Lily replied.

Harry gulped and then asked in a quiet voice, "I...me being...like this...it doesn't disappoint you?"

"Oh sweetheart, only giving into those monsters and surrendering yourself evil will make us disappointed in you. But we don't ever have to worry because you are a good boy...too good a boy. Who's smart, and brave, and who cares so much...we love you son, no matter who you choose to love," Lily whispered to her son.

Harry cried into her embrace and nodded. She held him tight and rubbed his back soothingly.

"It's time for you to head back now," Death said monotonously from the side.

Remus and Lily stood up, Harry still in her embrace.

"Wait! Can't I just five more minutes? And what about dad and Sirius? Can't I see them?" Harry begged.

"I'm afraid not tonight. We've broken a lot of rules just doing this...try the next full moon," Death suggested.

"Next full moon?" Harry asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"You're the Master of Death, Harry. The power of the Resurrection Stone is still in you...you can't bring them back solid, but their ghost should provide for an interesting talk. You just have to wait for some celestial help. Full moons don't just benefit werewolves you know." Death said with a ghost of a grin.

"Goodbye for now sweetheart. And remember...no matter who you choose to be, so long as you're proud and happy, we'll always love you," Lily said and squeezed him.

"She's right cub. We'll always be proud of you...do me a favor though," Remus said, getting his own hug in.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Go visit Teddy. His gran is getting close to coming over...he'll need you," Remus said with a tight smile.

"But...I...I can't. My life is _so_ not right...I can't take care of myself let alone a child...I'm sorry Remus...I can't..." Harry whispered.

"No Harry, you can. I know it's difficult, but it needs to be done," Lily insisted.

"That would mean..." Harry began.

Remus nodded, "Yes...you'll have to let the wizarding world that you're not dead. At least start with your friends."

"I can't hide from this can't I?" Harry asked.

"Like with me...not forever," Death replied.

Harry sighed, "I'll have to talk with Dean and Cas and Sam when I wake up huh?"

"Not all at once. Castiel is trying to chase whatever hurt you. Sam is close but Dean's made him understand your condition," Death said.

"Dean's a good protector. He's the older brother you deserve. And he'll be glad to hear that his brother isn't a true monster," Remus said.

"You take good care of yourself now Harry. Your demon's gone now...from this moment it's all you now. And I know you have the will power to do what's right...you've always have," Lily said with one more hug.

Harry walked them to the train that waited for them and they hopped on. They waved and the whistle went off again. With that, the train was off. Once the whole train was out of sight the people returned to the station.

Harry turned to look at Death.

"I don't suppose you could erase all of the memories I've got because of that bastard could you?" Harry asked.

Death sighed and shook his head, "I'm afraid not Harry. There's too much of it and all of his doing were connected to your decisions and actions afterward. I would be deleting this entire past year or so and you need to remember I'm afraid."

Harry sighed too, "That's alright...things were never made easy for me, this is no different."

"Until we meet again Harry," Death said and began to walk away.

"Will it be our last time meeting?" Harry called out.

"I'm Death Harry, not a seer," Death replied and then everything turned white and blinded Harry. He covered his eyes and groaned. It felt like the ground had disappeared from beneath his feet and he was falling sideways. He didn't remember landing but he was suddenly laying on a surface. It was soft by definition but still not too soft or comfortable.

"Harry?" called a voice. He recognized it.

Doing what he did before he tried regaining control over all of his limbs until he did. Once he was sure he was all accounted for me forced his eyes open. There was a lot of white, but not as much as in Limbo. Then the smell of disinfectant reached his nose. So he was in a hospital.

"Harry? Can you hear me? Oh please wake up," Dean's voice registered in his mind.

"De'n?" Harry tried to speak but his throat was dry.

"Yeah Har, it's me. How ya feelin?" Dean asked.

Once Harry's eyes opened and focused he saw Dean, and it looked like he had better days.

"Wa'er," Harry grumbled and Dean got him a small cup.

Once his throat wasn't dry he cleared it and said, "Hey..."

"How ya feelin?" Dean repeated.

"Not sure...I'm a bit...out of it...I just hope I feel better than you look," Harry said with a small teasing smile.

Taking it as a good sign Dean smiled cheekily and replied, "Than you must feel amazing."

Harry smiled and so did Dean, but then he frowned, "No seriously, how are you?"

"I'm...fine I guess," Harry replied.

"Fine? Harry...you've been in a coma for two month!" Dean exclaimed and Harry's eyes widened.

* * *

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